I have blown work relationships with more people than I care to think about because of my bad temper. Now I’m struggling in my career. Part of it is the shrinking jobs and pay but I know it’s more so because of the bridges I’ve burned. I’m good at my job and I can be pleasant and fun –when my buttons aren’t being pushed. I’m actually very capable, responsible and smart. It’s just that I have issues.

I’m in therapy and I know it has to do with being criticized and having emotionally abusive parents. I get easily wounded and insecure, and I lash out.

Right now I should be using some of the many contacts I’ve developed along the way, and the influential people I know. (You can’t tell from looking at me that I have this problem and I have lots of friends.) But I fear using some helpful contacts because I know those people know the people I’ve had incidents with and I worry they know about it. Ugh.

1 reply
  1. Penelope Trunk
    Penelope Trunk says:

    It’s good that you’re in therapy. When you FEEL likable you wont have any trouble asking your contacts for help.

    I think you are going to have to make a rule for yourself that you cannot be emotional at work. Not big happiness not big sadness. Just even keeled all the time so that you don’t risk any outbursts. You need to make rules for yourself and follow them.

    It’s one thing to blame your parents for your personal turmoil. But to blame your parents for your inability to hold down a job – that’s too much. You need to take responsibility for your actions, no matter what the cause. Once you do that, I think you’ll be less likely to allow yourself to have outbursts.

    Anger management is so hard. Good luck.

    Penelope

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