This is going to be a tough one for you. And I keep asking myself WWPD? (What Would Penelope Do?)
I am going to be 50 years old in July. I am currently working as a Behavior Specialist for developmentally disabled adults. I got this job after almost completing my master’s degree in behavioral health (didn’t finish cause I got divorced and had to pick up another job and raise three kids on my own – husband was financially ruined).
Anyway, I am good at what I do but I don’t want to do it anymore. I loved it for quite awhile but I am burnt. And the industry is changing and heading in a direction I don’t have the energy to be a part of. Truth be told, it wasn’t my true calling and I knew it. I was meant to be (get ready) a comedic actress.
Wherever I am, wherever I’ve worked, people gravitate towards me because I am entertaining. I am truly funny but not in an annoying way. I wrote some material and did one stand up gig. I had one “fan” in the audience yet got lots of laughs and applause. I stopped there. Why? I have no fucking idea. It was the best 5 minutes I can remember.
I write, occasionally, but have been quite lazy about it. Make excuses constantly.
On a great note, I got remarried and I could potentially quit my job – NOT WORK AT ALL – but I’m scared. Scared to be too dependent (again) and scared I won’t find another job if I want to. I also still have those 3 kids I am responsible for! And I am scared I won’t buckle down and write/perform like I always promised myself I would if I had the luxury and time to do so.
Thanks for listening,