I know you have to keep trying different jobs out to know what you want to do, I think my problem is that there is some kind of block/resistance around anything, including the jobs I try out.

I’m an INFP.

I have interned as a Human resource intern for a non-profit and I think I liked the talent acquisition, recruiting and company wellness aspects of it, but not benefits/compensation etc.. But I still don’t know if I want to pursue this aspect of HR further. I always seem to feel like there’s something else.

I’ve interned as a marketing and communications intern in NYC for a start-up juice company. I didn’t like it that much, thinking I don’t care too much about marketing for this.

I then got a job as a marketing assistant where I assisted the director of business development with marketing, social media, helping out with proposals (it was a consulting company) and other little business development pieces.

I liked it because of the people I worked with and the office environment. But it was also something I saw as temporary.

My biggest resistance comes with pursuing Psychology. I definitely don’t want to get a PhD, but secretly, I think about counseling as a career but I have SO MUCH resistance around this. For example:

(1) I don’t know if I’m confusing my love for personal development and spirituality with choosing this as a career–cos I use it to help myself. I get really inspired by mental wellness and I spend a lot of time being inspired by individuals who are life coaches etc. online and I feel connected. But am I just having wishful thinking.

(2) I love being empathetic, I’m a great listener and I feel a desire to help and empower others. BUT there are times where I feel like I don’t want to be listening to people’s problems. It gets depressing and I feel stupid if I can’t help or give the right kind of advice. What if I suck? I also have enormous fears around not feeling smart enough for grad school. I got by fine in my undergrad career but didn’t do well in my research methods class for e.g.

(3) I don’t really want to do clinical psych because I would want to help with less serious concerns than actual mental disorders like schizophrenia for instance. There a lot of people in my country where there is not enough psychological help and no outlet for people to talk about mental wellness. I feel like there is some kind of potential here but I’m not exactly sure how I would want to play a part.

I’m 25 years old and I can continue to experiment with jobs but I’m afraid that I might just be hopping from one thing to another with no direction. I know this feeling very well. There are instances in my life where I’d feel this way and actually sabotage myself because I’m not seeing things properly. I’ve read Dr. Meg Jay’s book, Defining Decade and how the decisions you make in your 20’s are important.

I’m scared that I’m just aimless. I can’t even decide what skills to get good at. I don’t want to waste my time on something when I could be gaining experience somewhere else. In my country, opportunities are different than in USA. It’s more common in the U.S. and maybe elsewhere to experiment with jobs but here, it’s different. I just interviewed for  HR executive position and the interviewer asked why HR after interning and working in marketing/business development.

I would appreciate any insight you have?!