I just got my dream job at a prestigious law firm. Everyone says I should negotiate but I don’t know what to ask for. I know women are not as good at negotiating as men are, so I don’t want to underperform on my first try.

I’ve been a career counselor for 23 years and currently work with a transitioning veteran organization helping high performing veterans with their post-military plans.

Veterans want to know how to negotiate their civilian salaries, which is a first for almost all of them.  Given that their military salaries are posted publicly I know that they face unique challenges. I’m trying to learn as much as possible to help this population with their specific concerns.

I stumbled upon your page because it came as the top result when I googled “random trash colleges”. I google this because one of my classes requires me to sign up for a college. In all honesty I don’t know whether college is the right choice for me, I have a 3.9 GPA and 1300 SAT which is considered good, but I don’t think going to college is worth having the crazy high tuition nowadays. My question to you is, if you have gone to college, was it worth the tuition?

I’m currently a business analyst at a consulting firm. I was offered a position as consultant in another firm and today when I was telling my boss I was quitting she offered me the same conditions the new place is offering me. I honestly don’t know what to do know. My current employer is not as big as the new firm but definitely has big clients and I love the environment. The last year was rough but I’m finally being recognized and I’m allocated in interesting projects. Growth is not that immediate and I think there is a lack of expertise. However I have veery flexible schedules and a lot of room to propose ideas.

On the other hand the new firm is a more recognized company where I could definitely learn a lot, sacrificing personal life.

Boyfriend who lives in another continent and is moving to England and thinks our relationship wouldn’t survive if I take the new job cause of the amount of work and cause I’ll never want to move to London.

I think I want to change jobs but I’m scared I’m making the wrong choice. I don’t really know what’s best for me (career and personal wise).

I was a Certified Nurse Aide at a hospital for 1 year and 6 months, I never made it to my 2 year anniversary. I was fired 2 days after my 1st and only family emergency.

My sister crashed her vehicle into a tree going 60 MPH in a residential neighborhood. I received a call while at my housekeeping job, she may have done it on purpose. I called my hospital job crying while driving to the downtown hospital, one of my 3 department managers stated if I didn’t come in….I was fired, if I came in emotional….I was fired.

I came in 5 minutes late and with proof. I had to wait for the Chief of Surgery. I showed a manager and she said it was all acceptable with all my proof (pictures of the crash, Letter from her Surgeon and Nurse). I was fired the next day by the director. The manager I spoke with wouldn’t help. The director refused to meet with me and security wouldn’t let me into the hospital.

I’m having issues explaining the situation in interviews. I feel like I should have fought it better, but was distracted with my sister’s accident and watching the 4 kids.

What should I do?

How do you think looking for a job or career is similar to or different from looking for a lover or life partner?

I’m interested in improving the way I approach both of these tasks and often sense that there is an overlap. But I realize that my sense that they are similar might be a reason why I’m not as successful with either as I could be.

I just finished my Ph.D. in educational policy and I’m on the job market for next spring. I don’t want to be an academic, so I’m looking at all kinds of jobs in all kinds of places.

I’ve been a teacher (middle school and university) for my entire working career, so I’m not familiar with how non-teaching job searches work. So, here’s my question: how do I know if I’m qualified for a job based on the job description?

I feel like they are written so cryptically that I can never be sure if I’m totally wasting my time applying or if it is a case (as you often write about) of framing my CV differently? For example, should I take the “experience, knowledge and skills” section as non-negotiable?

I am trying to use my Ph.D. to break into a related–but not directly academic–field and I don’t know if my skills translate.

I have been interviewing off and on for product manager jobs. I am so tired and exhausted from working startups and doing that. I’m freaking burned out.

Anyway, today I got an offer from a VC funded, pre-shipped startup who reached out to me.

I love the founder. I love the idea but there is part of the implementation that is bugging my conservative upbringing from an ethical point of view.

Also, I want a more stable company. I want to have a senior product manager to be my mentor and learn from in that role. I won’t have it here. I don’t want to have to figure it out anymore by myself, like I had to in my old startup.

I am an INFJ. Sometimes, an ENFP. Depends on the day.

What do I do?

I spent a year working on my app but have nothing to show for it since it’s not ready. What should I do about my resume? Do I  1) leave the app off completely and have a gap there, 2) tell the truth about running out of money (which sounds like a lame excuse to me), 3) say I dropped the app because I realized it wasn’t going to work out, 4) forget changing jobs?

I know how to talk about the business. My concern is, there’s a difference between getting something off the ground and failing, and not even finishing the thing in the first place. It sounds like I don’t have the grit to get something done. Or that the idea was stupid and I’m not qualified to run their business because I’ll just come up with more stupid ideas.

I love your site and have a sticky question to ask about resumes/interviews when you’ve been unemployed. You said you yourself had been fired a few times, so I hoped you might have some insight.

I worked at a company with a high rate of turnover and what was (in my mind) a toxic work environment. I was fired for the first time in my professional life last summer.

I know it’s something like career suicide to say your old bosses were horrible people and that you were victimized, but when asked about why you left the last job, what is appropriate to say?

I was considering something to the effect of, “Restructuring.” And also bringing up the detail that I was replaced by a contract worker, but I myself was offered continued freelance work with the company, after the fact (which shows that I couldn’t have been a horrific employee and that they liked my work).

Do I mention that there was constant restructuring at my old company? That I saw 60% of my colleagues get let go, restructured, or otherwise terminated?

It seems unfair that the only time my performance was called into question, it was by a volatile company. All the same, a lengthy explanation makes it sound like I’m covering something up.

I know the best course is diplomacy, but how do I cover my butt while being professional?