How can I present my idea in a way that does not alienate my superiors?

I am a 27-year-old cis-gendered female INTP with mild Asperger’s and a good job at a nonprofit. My organization is doing good work and actually effecting some positive change in this insane community of people. This isn’t really what I want to be doing long term (I am interested in Data Science and Machine Learning) but it is a good job and a good salary while I do personal and contract work in my chosen field with the hope of being able to enter that field as a career.

I have had a lot of different experiences, some have been successful and some haven’t, but what I have learned thus far follows:

  • I am highly empathetic in spite of my social dysfunction and people tend to like me even though they find me odd.
  • When I am not liked it is because people perceive me as cold, overly-rational, and arrogant. This is common among people with Asperger’s, especially women.
  • I am really, really smart.
  • I have a penchant for organizational thinking, resource management, and strategy.
  • Many organizations are completely dysfunctional because the people in charge are not good at the aforementioned things.
  • I am good at managing people as resources, but not very good at managing people as people.

I believe in my organization. I also believe that it is totally dysfunctional. In my experience, most nonprofits are.

Specifically, I am mismanaged as a resource. My direct supervisor (who is at the director level) has never had a direct report before me – and she does not know how to manage people either as people or as resources. The reason she was given an assistant is because she is doing two (completely different) full-time jobs at once – one of which is in line with her experience and career and the other which is not her area of expertise at all.

The problem is that she is unable to effectively delegate – so we have a situation where she is totally overwhelmed and I am completely bored. I have asked her repeatedly to allow me to take some things off her plate, but she is unwilling to trust my ability to do anything on my own, which basically amounts to her having a ton more work by virtue of having an assistant rather than having less. It’s maddening.

So there are two major problems: 1.) I am totally unsatisfied in my job and 2.) this mismanagement of resources is a waste of my salary – which this organization sorely needs.

One of my boss’s jobs is development, which is the second position that sort of fell into her lap and isn’t what she is good at or wants to do. I believe that it would not take much improvement on the part of a new, more experienced development director to pay for the difference between my current salary and his/her hypothetical new salary – the going rate for a fairly experienced development director at this kind of organization is only about $30,000 higher than what I’m making now. I want to suggest to the executive director that I leave my position and they use my salary to hire someone new at the same level as my current supervisor to ensure that both jobs get done well and fully.

I would like to stay at this organization if they can find a place for me where my talents are beneficial and I am permitted to take on interesting projects and learn new things, but regardless of where I end up, the organization doesn’t need me to be in my current position, and because of my boss’s difficulty with being a manager, I’m actually hurting the organization by being here more than I am helping it.

So my question is this: How the hell do I propose this plan (fire me, reduce the scope of my current boss’s job to something she can manage without an assistant, and hire a person to do development who actually knows what the hell they are doing) in a way that the board and executive director will take seriously?  I am aware that this suggestion is brazen and likely to really piss off my current boss, but I also think it is a good solution to a very real problem that needs to be addressed.

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Should I train my ungrateful co-workers? 

When I joined my current company a few years back, I started working on a special project that I have experience in, but the tool I was using was relatively new to me. As expected I spent my weekends and free time at home learning and excelling in it.

After two years, a newly employed fresh grad joined and I trained her as the management wanted me to do so. I work in senior capability and my lead is also a senior who has no clue about the work I do. But I trained her as well. They hired a new senior person who does not have any experience in the line of work I do.

As I believed the go over and above crap, I did a project as my manager VP asked me. I did a good job but my manager found some silly reason to criticize and scream at me.

I was asked to provide pictures as proof when I needed to work from home due to major repairs at home, but they gave the new colleague permission to work from home half days for the whole week as her teenage kid has holidays.

Fast forward the manager changed, and my colleagues got licensed to use the tool I was using so that they can also do the same work. As they started bombarding me with basic questions I guided them to the online documentation and videos available (I learned from them) as I already provided 2 sessions on that and also scheduled a session again but they canceled it and keep asking me questions.

No one else is learning anything new and sharing. They have no time to read and watch the video I provided. Within four months time, the new colleague complained about me behind my back but now she comes to me sounding innocent asking how to questions.

She won’t share any info. She already managed to take a high profile project which was promised to me by the VP. Once I was told I’m the highest paid in my team. Now part of my work is getting assigned slowly to my colleagues. My boss says everyone should know everything on the team so he wants me to train others but the work my other colleague is doing is not shared or no knowledge transfer sessions or training on it.

Do you think I better start looking for another job?

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The new hire wants to manage me.

The new hire wants to manage me. He’s supposed to be my co-worker. He’s in his thirties. Every conversation we have he’ll ask questions that are to “see the way I think”.

Am I just being competitive? Do I have to put up with him? The CEO hasn’t said that he’s my manager. The CEO has asked me to take more responsibility in managing the operations team.

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Should I report my boss’s illegal activity?

I work as a housekeeping supervisor at a hotel in Massachusetts. The general manager of the hotel had invited a prostitute to stay in one of the rooms at the hotel for sexual favors as payment for her stay. She also used the hotel room for clients and drug use.

The reason for me finding out all of this is because she was to leave the hotel one day earlier (Per: The general manager). She was not willing to leave the hotel at check out time, so check out time was extended until 2pm (Per: general manager). 2pm rolls around and she has not left yet and I asked her to please pack up and leave. She was not willing to leave, she was promised 3 days at the hotel. I advised her that I was going to have to call the police. She got very angry and upset.

She told me she had text messages that proves that she had a 3 day stays at the hotel by the general manager. Come to find out it was true, and along with that being true all the messages she had were all about the G/M picking her up to bring her to the hotel, sexual acts, lunch dates, all the conversation were between him and the prostitute.  I do have a copy of all the messages.

The G/M does know that I’m aware of what was going on. He is not willing to speak to me about this issue, he keeps ignoring me and I want to resolve it. What do I do? Do I report this? How do I go about this situation. He put all of us housekeepers at risk when cleaning the room. There were used needles laying around and condoms everywhere. The place was a mess. Please get back to me with some advice.

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How can I deal with two employees hooking up?

Do you have any recommendations on how to deal with two colleagues hooking up in a company smaller than 15? In larger settings it happened and was okay because it usually wasn’t with people on your team, or that you worked with on a regular basis.

We’re dealing with this while we’re all in France. two of the youngest team members (23 and 24) (he is a subordinate and good friend of the CEO, and she’s the CEO’s EA) hooked up pretty early, and the behavior has just increased and made everyone uncomfortable. She’s currently using him as an errand boy, partnering with him to get a lot of her work done.

My boss asked me what we think we should do, but I don’t have a clue on how to handle this at such a small scale. The relationship has definitely been affecting work dynamics, and we’re all dreading the implosion for when things go sour. We both agreed that while they are two adults and should be allowed to do their own thing, we’re dealing with two very immature individuals, so there aren’t high expectations for this to work out in a positive way.

Do you have any recommendations on how to handle this? What should the policy be moving forward?

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I feel like I’m in a job that doesn’t fit who I am

I’m 25 years old and I work in a senior advisor position within a government.  I help form decisions with some of the most senior elected officials that appear on TV news hour. I navigate political warfare, and I make more than the combined salaries of my parents.

But somehow this meteoric rise churns in my stomach since by night I inherently reside in another galaxy. I’m a hobbyist performer in breakdance/funkstyles/hiphop culture. I share communal practice space and session 3-4 times a week after work. I’m more in-tune with the grassroots arts organizations and people that meet what we call a “struggling artist” profile. I do local outreach with them in fact.  I know and can recite all the lyrics of Notorious B.I.G’s Big Poppa, prefer high top sneakers over oxfords, and generally grew up with this type of environment since high school.

I find myself in a space in life right now where I simply don’t have a place called home in the realm of social circle. Don’t get me wrong, I can mingle with the best of the suits in a networking session, but I’m genuinely not interested in hearing about how fast your Porsche 911 can go. In the same way I admire the artist community, I couldn’t find myself fully relating to some arts educators who tell stories about literally saving children from suicide by teaching them dance.

I feel there’s something wrong with me. I wake up many mornings wondering if I should pursue other things. Do “successful” people at mid 20’s ever face loneliness? What if I don’t find myself fitting in with the country club?

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How can I build a strong network?

I am 24 years old. My field is data analytics. I understand that building a network will eventually pay off, in one capacity or another. Can you tell me the most effective things I can do to grow my network now? I want to get the highest possible return on my time investment.

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Should I train colleagues to do my job?

I recently started a new job. I love the work that I am tasked to do and for the most part I really like the organization and most other people that I work with.

My supervisor asked me in the interview if I would not mind training other colleagues to do my job to help with their capacity development. I said I was fine with this as I really wanted the job.

In the three weeks since I started I have found my colleagues apathetic about their jobs, and they do not equally share information with me regarding their roles and responsibilities. However, my biggest concern is training a colleague to take over and do my job. Additionally, my colleagues have been working with my supervisor longer than I have and they already have a good relationship with my supervisor.

I work in a small department, so I have no other choice but to train these colleagues. What perspective should I take on being asked to train other colleagues to do my work – is this a good thing or a bad thing? How should I proceed to train such colleagues, yet ensure my own job security in the future?

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I’m about to be fired. Can I save the job?

I am a Mechanical Drafter (CAD Operator I), for a Mechanical Contractor by day. By night, I am a courier driver that has a specific route. I live in Minnesota.

I’m married and have three grown children, two of which still are struggling to be grown. I have three grandchildren, of which me and my wife help raise one them almost full time. My wife is a stay at home wife, she has some health problems. I am very patient with my wife, since she has been very patient with me and my outbursts at times and I have gone to therapy for this.

I have always been the socially awkward person. I fit in sometimes and most of the time I don’t. I have ADHD, more the ADD than the Hyperactive. Medication for ADHD doesn’t help me. I’m left handed and feel like I’m somewhere on the Autism spectrum but it’s not pronounced enough to ever have made a diagnosis. I have social anxiety, depression at times, and sometimes anger issues. I take Cymbalta, lowest dose possible to help with depression and anxiety. I recently got a membership at a local Anytime Fitness and started working out three times a week.

I wrote to you because I’m having issues at my job. I work with other drafters, designers, and engineers to draw and update plans. I have been with this specific company for a year now and have mixed emotions on how I feel I am doing at this job.

The problem is my attention to detail. I have had two sit downs with my boss, the lead mechanical engineer. The first conversation was last October and the second was in January. The conversation goes, you are making to many mistakes, why is this happening, what are you doing to not make mistakes.

The first conversation I had with him was not a shock to me, I knew I was making mistakes but felt it was beginner mistakes, since I had just started working there a couple of months before. This is when I learned that I cannot say “I’m doing my best”. This kind of threw me off guard a little but it made me really look at myself and ask am I really doing my best. So, I did my research and found a good process I thought would work for me.

A couple of more months pass, I’m trying to learn and implement this new process of doing work. I’m still making mistakes, not major, but mistakes a newbie would make. My boss has another sit down with me in January. I tell him the process of what i’m doing and so on. He is really frustrated with me and is ready to let me go and lay me off. See, this is where the not fitting in part I think goes into play. I’m not the best conversationalist and in meetings i really clam up. Obviously, i’m not doing this on purpose, its just my physical and emotional makeup of who I am. I have poor short term memory and giving input at meetings is a real struggle for me. I really do try, like keeping a notepad for notes at all times, sometimes recording learning/training sessions, and so on.

So, it’s been a year working here and I still feel like an outsider. I feel like they consider me incompetent at times. I really have learned a lot in my year here. There still is so much more to learn. But I feel like i am on a short leash. I feel like my next mistake will be my last and I will get laid off or I will be the first on the chopping block if that ever happens. I’ve told my boss i’m never intentionally trying to make mistakes and mess up. He knows I have a process. Who knows, maybe I’m over analyzing everything. I came this far to try and get some career advice.

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I have a great job. How can I keep it with a new baby?

I am a 31-year-old female. I am married and I have a two-year-old. I think I am probably an INFP, but never shelled out for the proper test. My marriage is very strong and satisfying.

I have a job I love. I volunteered for 5 years and have worked there for 5 more. I am a youth worker for an innovative organization whose principles allow me to do very, very good youth work (which is rare – youth work, like education, is mostly terrible).  My mentor/supervisor is a genius and I am incredibly lucky to work with and learn from him every day. Before I had my child I believed I would work at this place for the rest of my life. My work is fantastic, ie I love to do my job. I am also very good at it. I think this is the most important thing to say: my job has become part of my identity. I am a wife, a mother, and a youth worker. Everything else is secondary

My job is not perfect: before maternity leave I made just under 30K a year (working about 50 hours a week plus being on call 24/7/365), usually office relations are good, but every few months something flares up and I spend hours listening to people complain and being recruited to take sides, and my boss has an inconsistent management style that is often frustrating to watch and is occasionally hurtful to me.

As you have probably already predicted, I had a kid and everything changed. I do not want to ever go back to work full-time. I want to have at least one more kid. I would like to homeschool my children. I want to move an hour outside of the city I live in to raise my kids in the country (my husband has already found his dream job there and splits his time between the city and the country). I love being home with my kid. For real.

When my child was 3 months old I went back to work part-time (6 hours a week) and I am now up to about 15 hours a week. As part of my job, I am on call 24/7 to every youth I work with (about 60 kids) so the number of hours I work is a little hard to judge because in one sense I am always working.

I like the current arrangement, but I could stand to work even fewer hours. I only really care about the part of my job that involves the kids, running my twice-a-week three-hour program and being on call. That would take about 8-10 hours a week. Currently, I also run two school-based lunch-time programs a week and I mentor/manage four junior youth workers, plus I have to write reports and go to staff meetings and take calls from disgruntled staff.

Here’s the problem: the things that used to be just shitty parts of the job (low pay, inconsistent and erratic management, often discordant/antagonistic office relations) are now major problems. I resent all the of things I used to cheerfully tolerate (because they are just time/energy away from my family). On top of that, my status has changed: I have gone from being a valued member of a small team to a side note (due to my part-time status). My bonus is smaller, I don’t have a say over things that I used to have a say in, and my boss has allowed a new and junior youth worker to be chronically rude to and disrespectful of me (“he’s rude to everyone if that makes you feel better”). My job satisfaction has swiftly declined. However, my job is such a massive part of who I am. My mentor and the youth I serve mean so much to me. I cannot imagine not doing this job. I can also not justify it – it would feel like a betrayal to people I love.

I COULD imagine leaving to do one of two things: start an alternative school or start a program for young mothers. Two problems there: I lack confidence in my ability to achieve these things (not in my ability to run a excellent school or program, but the actual starting of them) and both of those things would take up more time than 15 hours a week and I DO NOT want to work full-time.

My job allows me to do work I love, it is my community. I can work and be home with my kid most days (ie live the dream). It is even feasible for me to move to the country and do the hour-long commute two or three days a week. I contribute financially to my family, however modestly. The price I pay is frustration at the crap parts of my job and the indignity of a low status despite my high competence and result (I am really good at my job!!).

WWPTD?

(What Would Penelope Trunk Do?)

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