I am writing a blog post round up of the best advice on the topic of defining your own life. So, I want to ask you, how would you define the phrase ‘a life on your terms’. Or, asked in another way, what does that phrase mean to you as an individual?
Do you have any tips on having a successful book launch and what
strategies helped you the best?
I’m 25. I’ve been a professional musician for 3 years. I am in a committed relationship with a man I love.
My music career appears to be on a precipice, but it hasn’t made it to the level of national awareness yet. I am attracting Grammy-nominated producers, good agents, etc. My career could escalate hugely in the next 5 years. I do not have unrealistic rock star goals (Lucinda Williams is a role model).
I am pregnant with twins. I’m deciding whether to keep them. I’m afraid if I have these kids now, I won’t have the energy or desire to pursue music success. (I would rather be at home with them… I think.) I’m essentially a small business owner. Plus, music means lots of travel, and the industry puts a premium on youth. My window seems more finite than it would appear to be in other industries.
My relationship with these unborn twins could be one of the greatest things in my life. I am certain that it would matter more to me than winning a Grammy.
That said, I could wait and start to have kids in 5 years or so. If I make it above the scrum, I might be able to coast on my music business achievements for longer and hang on to my rung of the career ladder until I’m ready to start climbing again.
I think I could survive both an abortion and birth. I’d have a hard time with an abortion or with giving up music, but I would do what I had to to recover.
I’m stuck with all these feelings and no definitive answer. The clock is ticking. These babies are growing inside of me. Any advice?
I work for a luxury apparel company – great group of people, but I’m not being creative and I feel like life is on repeat….sitting in an uncomfortable chair, staring at google and and eating my ritual salad. I am so not a ritual person.
I’ve had lots of life experiences, lots of jobs. I’m just trying to figure out what I’m passionate about and where I fit in in the job world. Do you have tips or models on how to narrow down your field of work you want to be in? I feel like I have so many things I enjoy and want to explore and its completely overwhelming at times. Well, all the time. I’ve done the pros and cons list over and over again. I just can’t nail it down. Any advice on how to nail it would be so great.
Hi Penelope,
I have a dilemma about this topic: http://blog.penelopetrunk.com/2007/07/19/blog-under-your-real-name-and-ignore-the-harassment/
The quandary is that I write about suicide. Anonymously. This allows me to protect my career and also avoid censoring myself. Now that I’m gaining some readership and preparing to take my blog to the next level, I am concerned about never having a body of work to attach to my real name, because I’ve finally accepted that writing is the one thing I would regret not taking a shot at in this life.
So while it’s hard to ask, “What would you do if you were me?” because you write about taboo subjects all the time and accept the risk….what does one do if it’s all risk and extremely low potential for reward? Start a completely different blog under my actual name with “safer” content? Stay anonymous and continue to write what seems to matter to people, and worry about it later? I have your words in mind:
Thanks,
[Name redacted]
>http://www.downfromtheledge.com
As a general rule of thumb, should people with ADD go on their own? I am trying hard at my third thing in three years and I am finding that I still make a lot of mistakes. It gets to a point where I space out and lose time. I try focusing and buckling down, but things still go bad.
I moved to Spain with my parents when I was 11.
I have severe ADHD and dyslexia.
I didn’t finish high-school.
I opened a bar when I was 22 years old, and lost a ridiculous amount of money before it closed a year later.
I started a software company with a friend of mine. I got tired of the friend and soon got tired of the company.
I started doing freelance work in “online marketing” very generally. Did some work with some local fashion boutiques to get them online. I learned a lot, but I felt I was being dishonest with my clients and not delivering the results they needed.
I decided I ought to go back to work, that I still lack a lot of experience and discipline and might be able to get this by working with more seasoned startupeers.
I joined a start-up that dealt with online fashion sales. I was fired after one month. They said they couldn’t afford me, and that I’d oversold myself.
I joined another start-up and got fired.
I find myself losing faith in myself, not sure what I’m doing wrong. I’ve often times when reading your blog feel like your brutal honesty and ability to cut through the bullshit is something that would help me out. I feel that I am very strong at some things (thinking outside the box, risk taking, sales, schmoozing) but really bad at other things (planning, “sticking with it”, networking with people I don’t automatically like).
In my heart what I want to do and be is an entrepreneur. I enjoy the thrill of creating something from nothing. But I don’t really have an “idea” now. My family urges me to keep looking for a job, even if it is one I’m not too excited about.
I feel like I’m at a crossroads, and that if I compromise now I’ll lose something intangible.
I haven’t felt this lost and directionless in probably at least a decade, and I think I’m at the point where I could benefit from your advice.
As someone who lives on a farm in Wisconsin, I’m curious as to how you continue to build and maintain your social connections from such a remote location. Obviously there are social media outlets, but I find that they can only supplement the social connections made from more real, and meaningful correspondence.In your case, I’m guessing that your experience living outside the farm allowed acquired adequate social resources to allow you to move to a farm and still be connected.
Basically my question is:What is the most effective method to network when you are physically isolated from most of the people whom you would be looking to network and socialize with?
I have an idea for a yoga studio in LA, but I don’t have much cash. I was thinking of escorting on the side to pay my bills while doing this. I was wondering should I do this? I’ve always been open minded. Have you ever participated in the sex industry, or tempted to?
I’m about to graduate in May with a degree in Psychology. Although I will be graduating Summa Cum Laude and had previous internships, I have not been able to find a professional job. My network options have been exhausted as well. Of course, I always try to network as much as I can, but I only seem to land high-end retail jobs (glorified retail position) based on my previous work experience. I live in a place that’s probably the country’s capital for hospitality and shopping. Not much else going on. I knew that I would need to go to graduate school if I wanted to thrive in psychology; however, I’m still not completely 100% sure if what I want is to spend the next 5 years trying to obtain a PhD in Industrial / Organizational (I/O) Psychology. I’m not interested in the traditional clinical path, I am interested in I/0 Psychology. Many people don’t know about it but it’s getting recognition. It is basically Psychology Applied to business. and I love it. However, I think that through professional experience I can learn much of what I would learn in school. My dilemma is going to grad school (and spending all the time, effort, and money) to validate that I can learn practical and tangible skills in this era of graduating with “useless” degrees or simply try to find a professional job in HR or organizational development.