How can you find out what you’re good at? Especially if you don’t want to ask anyone and might be autistic?
I wanted to move to San Francisco with my boyfriend, but we came to Boulder and lived with his parents instead so that I was not carrying the entire financial load while he rebuilt a career in SF, but I still want to spend time in SF and probably will spend some time back and forth. I like having time to be myself. I don’t know a lot of people here, so I’m trying to focus on the positives here of having a partner.
But I keep wanting to quit my job in marketing because it’s such an obedience culture and I can’t survive in it. What do you think? Any ideas?
I just got my dream job at a prestigious law firm. Everyone says I should negotiate but I don’t know what to ask for. I know women are not as good at negotiating as men are, so I don’t want to underperform on my first try.
I’m surprised to see that you’re living in Boston! maybe I’m just being cynical, but it seems like everyone in Boston is optimizing their life for prestige at every turn, at the expense of everything else, which results in a very un-interesting monoculture. I’m excited to be leaving Boston soon (we moved here for my boyfriend’s residency which is ending in July) but I’m curious what your take is, having lived a few places across the country.
I need him to be working on independence. He can live with me and go to school or move out. One is 21, and the other is 17.
I had a few other health issues for the past few years. My ex is remarried and spends very little time with him. I have succeeded at raising my kids without violence and humiliation, which was my goal as a divorced mom. I will get triggered if you start with the autistic moms are bad moms thing. I am fully aware of my failings and successes as a parent, and I do not want to process that with you.
Right now, I asked him to pay me rent as an incentive to get him to go to school. But it’s not working, he’s smart but non-materialistic.
I want him to plan for what he wants to do for a career. He wants more money than a sandwich maker but is not motivated by money. He is extremely internally motivated. The brothers aren’t close. I need to figure out a plan for the younger son too.
My husband and I both identify as autistic. My issue is that no one will think my daughter is autistic because she’s ahead in every regard, and I’ve never been formally diagnosed.
My husband is the primary caregiver because he’s better at it. I married him because his pets were much happier and better behaved than any other pets, which foreshadowed his parenting skills, and I wasn’t wrong.
I’m worried about my sister. She’s a 21-year-old INTP. She’s a genius yet she decided to give up academics in favor of being a professional cellist. Currently she lives off playing blackjack and manipulates older men into giving her money because she’s hot.
Two things worry me:
- She’s completely irresponsible when it comes to money. She splurges all her winnings, has absolutely no savings and often can’t pay rent.
- I can’t imagine her feeling fulfilled in the cellist job. This seems like such an out of character choice for an INTP. I can’t figure for the life of me why she is drawn to it.
She’s an adult and can make her own choices, but I can’t help being worried she will end up broke and unhappy, having wasted years pursuing a career that’s not the right one. Should I say something? Maybe suggest another career choice?
My company is fairly small (~100 people) and only does outsourcing. Finding another job is certainly an option. However, I work with my boss on a daily basis and he’s actually very open to hearing ideas on what his employees want to do with their careers. I think he’s an ENFJ. Still, it seems crazy to just ask him to give me a project to manage completely out of the blue.
I’d greatly appreciate any advice you could give me. My job is so full of excruciatingly boring details, tedious and unchallenging that even thinking about it makes me want to slit my wrists.
Divorce threw so many new stressors into my life that forced me to realize my “failures” were actually just areas where I needed to make autistic accommodations for myself. The kids’ dad is autistic. My children are autistic.
I don’t know how I didn’t recognize I’m autistic sooner. It’s not that I think there is anything wrong with it, I’m just so completely not used to thinking about myself this way. But it’s a relief to recognize it because it explains a lot.
Do other people say to themselves I can’t believe I didn’t see it sooner?