Help for son who won’t get a job

Hello Penelope,  I love to read your blog. I got a copy of your book and I wondered if this book still applies to the employment scene of today. I cant seem to help my son find a job. He wont look.He has a BS in Communications but seems to be an Asperger s person although he would deny it. He has never dated, hardly leaves his room and hangs w his high school buds about 5 guys who have girlfriends and wives but still manage to hang w him. I d say he acts about 14. He is vegan, we buy his food and he lives w us rent free and we pay for his car. He is hard to deal w and his decisions make no sense to us. He wants to be an internet millionaire or Amazon affiliate millionaire but has neither their outgoing YOU TUBEY personalities or the money to purchase any of their courses where they teach you how they all became millionaires. He refuses to do most jobs which are available in Southeastern Virginia, like grocery store stockers or big box store workers like Costco. The thing is, I lost my job and my husband became sick and had to retire at 50 on disability and we are older now and struggling financially. We worry what will happen to him, he has noone w any substance in his life to take care of him or help him. He works about 1 month a year I would say. He would never take career advice from anyone, but I would. He is difficult, but a wonderful, good person. He wont go back to any school except internet. He graduated in 2014 and really does nothing but sleep til 1230 and go out w friends surfing and skateboarding . Our dog died in 2016 which hit him very hard for she was his closest companion. We had to go to an apartment for financial reasons and cannot get him another dog. Do you have any advice for me ?? Thank you, Penelope. I pray for you and your sons and I hope you can become fantastically wealthy. My married daughter and I refer to you by your first name , as a friend or confidant as we discuss your latest blogs!

How to help a teen to like reading poetry

A friend sent me this blog post you wrote that has studies about how poetry and empathy feed on each other. I don’t know about poetry but I’d like to learn to read it. And I’d like my teenaged daughter to have more empathy as you could imagine even though you have sons. Can you tell me books to get?

Can you help us with our homeschool magazine idea?

My daughter and I had an idea to start a digital magazine with writings by girls, for girls. This could be a great resource to encourage writing for homeschoolers.  We are trying to encourage more submissions and just released our first issue.  It’s all free.  Gemag.me is our site.  We would love if you would help us get a start.

How to get a career in your 40s

I’ve had an idea rolling around in my head for a while now. With all the posts on social media about changes in the workplace & millennials, maybe there are ways that the 40 and up can leverage the changes millennials are already demanding.

I’ve been processing it for a couple of months now, maybe there’s something here for a blog post?

I appreciate your forthrightness and transparency in your writing.

How can I feel better about turning 30?

I just turned 30 this week and am feeling a lot of self-directed pressure to get it together. I’m female, been in a relationship for 2.5 years, and will NOT be having children (genetic risks with both of our families). We live in insane Vancouver, Canada, where housing costs rival San Francisco.

We both recognize we need to leave the city now. The problem comes in deciding what to do next. He used to run his own construction company, but due to an injury has not been able to make the company really run for the last two years. I just completed a six-month certificate at a technical institute for front-end web development. This is following years of basically admin-drudgery, where I was dreadfully underpaid – despite a 4 year degree; don’t get an arts degree kids.

I assumed once complete I could work my way into a remote job in tech and we could relocate to a more affordable housing market where we could buy a modest property and start building some equity.

Tonight I learned that my boyfriend has dwindled his savings down to half. He now claims he is not interested in buying a property, is giving up on working and considering disability assistance (we’re in Canada), and doesn’t understand why I want to buy since we don’t want kids.

Aside from his lack of ambition, we are a compatible couple. However, I’ve been financially stressed all of my life – coming from irresponsible, immigrant parents who couldn’t save a dime. I paid my own tuition, only paying off student loans a couple years ago.

The constant financial pressure is causing me a lot of depression and anxiety about the future. My boyfriend’s increasingly blaze attitude is amplifying my depression. At the start of our relationship he was much more hopeful about his career, this hope has essentially disappeared.

Where to go next?

Is it ok to bribe a kid to practice?

Is it smart to bribe my 5-year-old with video game time in return for practicing the guitar (or doing other stuff)? I don’t actually care if he plays a lot of games, but it seems like a fiendishly smart strategy to limit his time in order to use it as a bargaining chip for chores and learning stuff (like guitar, which he asked to learn) that takes work.

Is that terrible?!

Did your musical kid actually always want to practice, or did you make him practice because you knew he did want it but needed help doing the work?

Is there a way to leverage their love for video games in a way that isn’t going to screw them up?!

Current job vs new job vs boyfriend?

I’m currently a business analyst at a consulting firm. I was offered a position as consultant in another firm and today when I was telling my boss I was quitting she offered me the same conditions the new place is offering me. I honestly don’t know what to do know. My current employer is not as big as the new firm but definitely has big clients and I love the environment. The last year was rough but I’m finally being recognized and I’m allocated in interesting projects. Growth is not that immediate and I think there is a lack of expertise. However I have veery flexible schedules and a lot of room to propose ideas.

On the other hand the new firm is a more recognized company where I could definitely learn a lot, sacrificing personal life.

Boyfriend who lives in another continent and is moving to England and thinks our relationship wouldn’t survive if I take the new job cause of the amount of work and cause I’ll never want to move to London.

I think I want to change jobs but I’m scared I’m making the wrong choice. I don’t really know what’s best for me (career and personal wise).

Letter from the LA Times

Dear Penelope,
I am the new syndicated columnist for Careers Now from Tronc (Chicago Tribune and LA Times online content agency). I found your website and would like to get your input on a question that I have to answer for my next installment of the column. The only catch is that I will need your input by the end of the day this Friday. The answer doesn’t have to be long–I only have room for about 300-400 words

THE QUESTION:

How do I go about making a career change from corporate America to something meaningful?

–Kathleen Furor

Should I buy a franchise?

I’m an INTP.  I’ve been a stay-at-home dad for the last seven years focused on our three boys. The older two were diagnosed with Asperger’s two years ago, so my hands have been full. I was hoping to get your advice on a new direction I was thinking for my career.

I’ve been in discussion with a the founder of a tutoring and college prep company. They did a great job with our oldest son. They work on the social emotional aspects of learning in addition to the technical/academic processes, and have separate programs to work on things processing speed & short-term memory and college testing & applications. So, they focus on serving both ends of the bell-curve.

The company is  moving from start-up stage to national expansion via franchising. I’m considering buying the franchising rights for our area. It would fill a need for our kids, and be a good way to generate a good income stream once we have several learning centers up and running.

Since you understand what it’s like to parent kids on the Autistic Spectrum and you know what INTP’s are like, is this a crazy thing for me to do?

I did take the course you have for INTPs and it was very helpful. I realize this is the kind of small, all-consuming project that you said INTP’s should avoid. However franchises are know for providing a lot of opportunities for thinking outside the box.

My favorite email from this week

Should I be on LinkedIn for home and office organizing?

Also, what do you think about dating in AA? (After having a year sober I’m considering one person.)