The hardest thing for me is that I take care of the kids 24/7. No matter how flexible I am with family / extended family (even my ex’s family) or how hard I work at forging a community, I can’t find reliable people who can help watch my kids and I can’t pay for childcare on my income. How do you do it? How do you spend all day every day with kids and not go completely insane?
Whenever I think maybe I’ve found a balance and gotten some normalcy established, everything gets upended again and I’m back to square one with little to no childcare and staying up hours past their bedtime just so my introvert self can recharge. Idk if I’m just venting or if I actually think you might have an answer I haven’t thought of yet.
How the hell does anyone raise kids stay married and raise kids and have a job?
I asked him point-blank if he was planning to leave us (bc he’s threatening a lot in recent years since our kids passed the cute baby stage) He tells me at 11:45 pm that he doesn’t want to separate until the kids are older and then does this whole “If I’m still not enough for you then, then you are free to find someone else.”
Meanwhile, my 70-year-old mom just broke her ankle in NYC and I am all the way across the world in Greece.
My kids miss my family. I think it may be time to come back to the states, but not NYC. So I’m looking at suburbs, CT, and the greater Boston area. You were right ten years ago when you asked me what the hell I was doing with him.
I’m tired of working two jobs, but my tutoring business is still not making enough to support me. My dream is to be able to help any family, regardless of how much they can pay me. I know you’ll tell me that’s not feasible. Right now I tutor lots of kids and I don’t turn away anyone, no matter how much they can pay. How can I keep helping families who need me and still make enough money to pay my mortgage?
I was reading the Psychology Today website and I trust that site. They said Myers Briggs is not based in science. Carl Jung doesn’t think it’s based in science. The link is very interesting did you see it? I wanted to see what you thought about this article:
I was wondering what your thoughts/knowledge are about having more than one kid and about age spacing. I’m thinking about having a second next year (my son is ten months now), but I’m not completely sure for several reasons, one of them that my own relationship with my sister isn’t that great.
I will be marketing myself as a profit first coach. I will help small business owners with $500,000 – $2,500,000 in revenue better handle their cash flow and focus on building profit into their business. These people are stressed and they struggle with money management. I will tell them that creating profit is not done by more time and energy but in removing what’s not profitable and carving out time to do what they hate which is to look at the numbers.
Is this a good group to connect with? Is this a good way to connect with them?
I have been reading your blog since I was in high school, and I always try to take your advice.
I have my first job out of college and it’s a very good job for me. My boss is gay. I know I am supposed to make my boss my mentor. And I am supposed to find someone who is moving up in the company to move up right behind. Is it okay to attach myself to my boss or is he going to run up against too many barriers because he’s gay?
Have you ever written about how to stop yourself from you ruining your own life? Or how to turn it around mid-ruin? Because I’m almost 25, ruining my life, and I’ve gotten to the point of where I kind of hope that someone hits me with their car.
If you have an article about this, you can just say “yes” and I’ll go looking. Until then, I’m going to just eat everything that is bread or contains bread until I feel better.
I am a 32-year-old single female INFJ UX writer. I work in an open office in a large corporation. I’ve worked there for about 6 years. I also identify as an HSP, as most INFJs would. I know you are going to freak out at me and tell me I need to get married and start a family, stat. And that since I’m unmarried and over 30, I’m probably autistic. I’m working on dating but haven’t met the guy I want to marry yet! I am trying to break the cycle of ending up with manipulative, emotionally abusive men.
Anyway, when I was 27-28 I became very sick and only when I went to a naturopath did I find out that I basically have a chronic illness and essentially, chronic fatigue syndrome. Because of this, I have to be very careful about managing my stress, diet and lifestyle. Any little tweak can send me into flareup mode, and I effectively have to take a few days “off.” I can’t be too social, push myself too hard or sometimes even go to work. This occasionally makes it hard to date, and I hate that I can’t be my best self.
I’ve found when I work from home a few days a week, I feel much better. Because of the collaborative nature of my job that often requires in-person interaction, it is hard to do that anymore — and everywhere I’ve interviewed, it has been the same sentiment (I haven’t asked but it’s been implied.) If I go on a relaxing vacation near salt water, I feel great. If I go home to Wisconsin, I feel pretty good as well. (Nature is good for your immune system, as I’m sure you already know.) There are times I really do feel vitality and health (and people even comment on it!) but just not when I am at work 5 days a week. (I hope this doesn’t sound entitled; I know few people like going to work 5 days a week, but for me it is extra draining, and I struggle with it a lot more than the average person due to illness and being an HSP. And you don’t have to remind me that I’m childless so I have even less stress to complain about.)
I like my job, and I’m good at it. I make a decent salary, more than I ever thought I’d make as a writer. I have a pension, which I know is nearly unheard of these days. I like that my job provides me somewhat of a built-in social network, as so many of my friends are disappearing by moving to other cities or getting married. Since I’ve been there 6 years, I keep looking to move on. I basically need to move jobs to get a promotion. I have a really great work-life balance: I only work 40 hours a week, I don’t check my email at home, I get 5 weeks of vacation, and if I need to leave a little early for whatever reason, no one bats an eye. Everywhere I’ve interviewed, this is not the case.
I consider myself very lucky. I used to work at a major PR firm which I think is where a lot of my chronic illness issues stemmed from — it was very toxic, stressful and combative, and I know now that I cannot handle that type of environment. But I’m unsure if even my current situation is the best thing for my health right now. I keep having flareups. I have to take time off to recover until it happens again. I often have to sneak off in the middle of the day to take naps. But I know that I’m lucky that I can even do that. We had a reorg recently, and I’m on too many projects and in too many meetings, which is making me more stressed and causing more frequent flareups. I work in tech, and sexism and sexual harassment takes a daily toll, especially in an open office where I feel like I have to constantly be protecting myself. This isn’t helping either. I know and do all the stress-management techniques, and I keep wondering if I should look for a remote job or part-time remote job. But I’m afraid I’d feel really isolated.
Oh and my real dream? To be a novelist. I have several side writing projects that I work on outside of work. I have hobbies that I like to do for fun. I love animals and would like to get a dog but can’t in my current apartment due to restrictions. I’m considering moving, but the stress of moving will likely set my stress back too.
Do you have any advice on what I should do about work? Without sounding like a gold-digger, getting married and being able to quit and work part-time would be ideal, but it just doesn’t seem to be in the cards at the moment. So what should I do?
I am a 14-year-old high school student, and I am very passionate about woman rights and respecting woman in general. I find that article to be horrible, it Is teaching girls that they can’t focus on a career and be mothers, my mother had me at 38 and my sister at 36 and she chose to do that even though she married fairly young. I find it saddening that you believe woman have to get pregnant in their 20s, and that you feel the need to shame women who don’t.
However, most disturbing is that you are telling women to let men sexually harass them, at the age of 14 I have already been getting cat called for three years, harassed by grown men in public, and harassed and stalked by a high school student two years my senior, for an entire year. you saying that just because stuff like that happens every day, women shouldn’t report it, hurts my heart. I can’t believe a woman would say something like that, it sets us back so many years. I wish you had never said anything like this, but, you did and all I can do is say something. I will always say something because boys will not be boys and women will not take it.
This is not a hate note of any kind I just need for you to hear from the people your effecting.