How can you find out what you’re good at? Especially if you don’t want to ask anyone and might be autistic?
I need him to be working on independence. He can live with me and go to school or move out. One is 21, and the other is 17.
I had a few other health issues for the past few years. My ex is remarried and spends very little time with him. I have succeeded at raising my kids without violence and humiliation, which was my goal as a divorced mom. I will get triggered if you start with the autistic moms are bad moms thing. I am fully aware of my failings and successes as a parent, and I do not want to process that with you.
Right now, I asked him to pay me rent as an incentive to get him to go to school. But it’s not working, he’s smart but non-materialistic.
I want him to plan for what he wants to do for a career. He wants more money than a sandwich maker but is not motivated by money. He is extremely internally motivated. The brothers aren’t close. I need to figure out a plan for the younger son too.
My husband and I both identify as autistic. My issue is that no one will think my daughter is autistic because she’s ahead in every regard, and I’ve never been formally diagnosed.
My husband is the primary caregiver because he’s better at it. I married him because his pets were much happier and better behaved than any other pets, which foreshadowed his parenting skills, and I wasn’t wrong.
Divorce threw so many new stressors into my life that forced me to realize my “failures” were actually just areas where I needed to make autistic accommodations for myself. The kids’ dad is autistic. My children are autistic.
I don’t know how I didn’t recognize I’m autistic sooner. It’s not that I think there is anything wrong with it, I’m just so completely not used to thinking about myself this way. But it’s a relief to recognize it because it explains a lot.
Do other people say to themselves I can’t believe I didn’t see it sooner?
I’m concerned that you combine environmental factors and personality type to come to a diagnosis of autism.
I wonder if the conflation helps the parents who’ve exposed their children to trauma escape responsibility. So when someone self-reports childhood trauma, instead of it being trauma inflicted by parents, it’s autism that the parents couldn’t help.
If I buy into the premise that I’m autistic and so are my kids, where the hell do I go from here?
I’m a divorced mom of two young kids residing somewhere on the spectrum. I’d like to be a good mom, partner, daughter, friend, coworker, neighbor but just writing this sentence was exhausting.
Should I get an emotional support dog for my daughter? We are relocating internationally and my oldest kid is using my younger one as an emotional crutch.
Please don’t kill me.
Is there a reason why autistic males have so much energy and female autistics have so little? Just something I noticed in general and in my own family.
For example, most male autistics I meet even in old age have limitless energy for hobbies and other stuff while most female autistics I know (including myself) have barely enough energy to make it through the day.
My kids are 11 and 4 who both got diagnosed with autism during COVID. Periodically I think I made a mistake getting them diagnosed.
We are seeing therapists and moving to school districts with better school support for them. They are doing better now than before getting the diagnosis. But my husband and I are exhausted with the financial pressure and endless decision making of which therapy to pursue.
How is the future going to look better? What does a diagnosis really do?! What help do we really get?!
I made a comparison between my mother and a narcissistic mother which showed various similarities. Then I read the book you recommended and highlighted the areas that applied to my experience. By that, I mean, 70% of the book got highlighted.
Now I’m accepting and one day I will be recovering.
I think my mother is on the autism spectrum. And I know for a fact she suffered her own traumas. But I don’t think being on the spectrum completely erases your ability to feel empathy, no?
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penelope@penelopetrunk.com