I have a four-year-old son with an ASD diagnosis. My son’s mother is in the process of getting a formal assessment for autism now as well. She has identified her own childhood was full of conflicts with her own mother and now her ability to maintain client relationships, thus negatively impacting her ability to sustain her business.

We are separated and co-parenting has been difficult. My perception is that autism influences the extent to which we don’t really understand each other’s motivation or accept each other’s points of view. It has led to police investigations and ugly disputes at family court over what I did or did not do according to her perception. i.e., the way I greet her on the street.

I see all of it connected to autism and a lack of understanding of what other people consider reasonable.

I don’t know to what extent my son has inherited these tendencies from both of our sides. If anything, he seems much happier than either of us, which reflects how hard we are both working to give him a good start.

I remember reading on your blog that both you and your ex-husband have autism and that you now seem to be getting on much better than before. I’d love to hear more about this.

I am thinking about ending my marriage. He continuously leaves when it gets hard or challenging by either physically leaving or having more affairs.

I have two daughters and I think it’s worse for them to see a father that can’t commit to his spouse.  I don’t want my daughters to see that as their model and choose partners like that in the future.

My question is how do you know when it is really over? Also, I know the research says two parents together are better but if you are continuously fighting, is it really better?  I don’t want a divorce; I can live with a chronic cheater like Elin Nordgren or Maria Shriver. Also, on a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being there when the World Trade Centre fell, how hard is divorce?

Lastly, I just feel like I will never be able to love anyone again. Do I want to keep wasting my life on this guy?

I have autism and I want a woman to share my time with. However, this has proved exceedingly difficult.

I am now 31 years old and functioning a lot better than I did in my 20s. I often fool myself into thinking that I am really functional and should have no problem getting the things I want, but then I have a panic attack and remember that I am not like other people. That said I have a very good job, quite good looking and am in very good physical shape (I do triathlons).

The only women that have ever shown interest in me for any period of time are women I did not find attractive; women that I did find attractive but the idea that we were compatible was ludicrous; women with mental health problems of some sort also made them impossible to deal with.

Then, I tried using an online dating website where I was matched with another woman who has the same autism condition as me. Yet she has a social life and is less socially anxious than me. You would think we would be compatible and yet I did not get the impression that she found me attractive.

I feel like no normal woman wants a man that has almost no emotion or empathy and cannot join in with their social life. I am discouraged from the online dating experience.

Do you have any useful input for me?

I have a fitness coaching business and my client base has doubled since I started. Definitely grateful for the extra cash but I’m finding people are sending me novels about their workouts that are holding me up. I want to refine my efficiency to give them the help they need but I feel bad not responding and don’t want them to think I’m ignoring it.

How should I approach the response without being rude?

And because I’m getting more clients, I’ve become more irritable and burnt out. One client is bouncing between myself and another trainer. When issues pop up where people are being annoying, I’m just saying “yes” instead of arguing my point. How do I get out of this situation?