I have blown work relationships with more people than I care to think about because of my bad temper. Now I’m struggling in my career. Part of it is the shrinking jobs and pay but I know it’s more so because of the bridges I’ve burned. I’m good at my job and I can be pleasant and fun –when my buttons aren’t being pushed. I’m actually very capable, responsible and smart. It’s just that I have issues.
I’m in therapy and I know it has to do with being criticized and having emotionally abusive parents. I get easily wounded and insecure, and I lash out.
Right now I should be using some of the many contacts I’ve developed along the way, and the influential people I know. (You can’t tell from looking at me that I have this problem and I have lots of friends.) But I fear using some helpful contacts because I know those people know the people I’ve had incidents with and I worry they know about it. Ugh.
I’m a 22 year-old working in New York City. I have a decent-paying job as a journalist that is (to me) meaningful, challenging, intellectually stimulating, and offers a lot of opportunity for growth, on-the-job-training, and networking with others in my field. I can afford my rent and I have health benefits—money would be tighter if I had student loans, but I don’t.
I am a 35-year-old queer lady working in IT. I have been out at work as a lesbian for 10 years, and always felt comfortable doing so.
But now I’m hitting a new challenge in my life. I was recently unemployed for a year, and during that year my female partner went under treatment for gender identity issues, and changed genders to male.
The relationship has worked out for us, so I am now a queer lady partnered with a queer-identified man. The word “queer” seems to be the best identifier for me: I have a nuanced enough identity that I don’t identify as “bisexual.” I’m not in a “lesbian” relationship. And I’m into my partner, but not most guys.
In the last few months, I have found myself starting at a great new job, but find myself plagued by the feeling of being in the closet.
Having a girlfriend was always shorthand for saying that I’m gay at work, but now I have a boyfriend who doesn’t want the whole world to know — upon first meeting — that he used to be a woman. If I told my coworkers the whole story — which might be too much right now anyways — I would be ‘outing’ him before he has even met most of them socially and has a chance to decide what he wants them to know.
How does someone like me avoid this feeling of being in the closet?
Socially I’m in a whole new world here.
I worked at a company for about 3 years, which was fine through the recession, but a new manager came on board with whom I fought constantly. Yelling and screaming matches were the norm.
Fed up, I quit and recently accepted a new gig. Now, just a month in, I hate it. It’s not for me, it’s a big company and has extensive travel requirements and other tasks that I don’t even want to deal with.
So, problem is that now I’m job hunting again – but with weight of not being able to get good recommendation from last employer and the new one is only a month in, not an easy story to spin.
Any suggestions on how I can fix this?
I am an older mom who is busy supporting a family and working as an ICU nurse. I don’t want my daughter to repeat my lifetime of mistakes. She is bright about many things but in school I feel she is an underachiever and does just enough to get by. I have had many financial setbacks. I lost my home, lived with in-laws and now live in a house that was a fixer-uper and I was never able to do the fixing up. I could go on and on. But enough about me.
How do I guide my teen to choose a career path that will be suitable for their abilities and potential. I have depleted all my savings just keeping the family going so its going to be a community college to start out. She is 16 and very responsible. She has had three jobs in three months. Now she’s working at her third, job as restaurant hostess. How do I be the guidance counsellor, where do I start?
I’m a management consultant with an MBA and a technology focus. Every time I try to choose an area to specialize in, I get interested in something else. I really don’t care very much what subject matter I’m working on. What I like about my work is rapidly learning new things, making sense out of ambiguous situations, high pressure to deliver, meeting a lot of new people and the prestige and good salary/benefits that allow my husband to stay home with our kids. There is enough work to do at my company that so far I have always taken new projects in totally different areas just based on what interests me and avoiding too much travel.
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