Did I make a mistake getting my kids the autism diagnosis?

My kids are 11 and 4 who both got diagnosed with autism during COVID. Periodically I think I made a mistake getting them diagnosed.

We are seeing therapists and moving to school districts with better school support for them. They are doing better now than before getting the diagnosis. But my husband and I are exhausted with the financial pressure and endless decision making of which therapy to pursue.

How is the future going to look better? What does a diagnosis really do?! What help do we really get?!

1 reply
  1. Penelope Trunk
    Penelope Trunk says:

    You get to see yourselves more clearly as a family. It’s being able to help each other because you see each other for who you are. Do you tell your oldest that everyone has it? If you do, then it becomes a way you all support each other.

    Getting your kids diagnosed is a step toward getting your whole family to get help. It’s not just your kids who have trouble adapting to other peoples’ needs — it’s you and your husband as well. The best thing you can do right now is to understand how you and your kids are similar and how autism keeps you from being the best parents you can be and the best spouse you can be. If you can understand it, you can work with it.

    This is true for your kids too. If they can understand what they’re working with, they can do much better. Autism is about understanding, not fixing. When you are making decisions about which therapy to pursue, you can make much better decisions if you ask yourself what you would have wanted when you were a kid? But you can only ask yourself if you can understand how autism made your life much harder when you were a kid and how people could have helped you.


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