Penelope, I wrote to you 2 years ago that I’m not convinced I have autism. I don’t think my wife has autism. She fits with other women really easily and is socially very comfortable. We can put her choice of me down to a moment of weakness.
It wouldn’t be something I would want to avoid knowing. I have some of the signs but by no means all, and the ones I have are synonymous with other conditions, i.e., an anxious attachment style.
Since then, I had a conversation with my sister. Turns out she was diagnosed with Aspergers (when they used to allow it as a formal diagnosis) some years ago. We both agree that our dad had autism.
Thinking about it now my brother is also almost definitely ASD. And I suspect, so is my daughter.
It’s quite a revelation.
I have done more research and digging into myself which is leading me down to a formal diagnosis. It seems you were probably right although my symptoms are certainly on the mild side.
I think I am the least obvious of my family (to me at least) but it has been a fascinating and illuminating journey thus far.
I’m planning with my husband the next couple of years with kids.
I wanted to know, after everything you learned, if we had to choose, is there a “most important phase” to stay home with kids? The baby phase, the primary school phase, the teenage years..? I’m asking so we can organize ourselves financially.
My husband and I are swingers, but I feel like I can’t even consider writing about it on my blog because it is so far from what is accepted in society.
Should I have an anonymous blog about it?
I was hired to teach a workshop to a group of mom-preneurs and it was so obvious that at least 5 of the women had some form of autism. When I mentioned this to the head of the organization, she asked me what she could do to make sure she supported these individuals.
Most of the small business owners are women, moms and minority women.
How do I best support these “mom-preneurs” in a workplace or educational environment? And can I make money doing this?
We just got out of the army after being in for 4 years. I could still write about it but it would seem to not make sense after a while.
I don’t feel like that can be THE central theme of my blog. It doesn’t feel genuine for me to tie everything back to the army because I see so little of it as part of my identity.
Do you see another angle for me? I’m hoping you see something that I don’t.
I’m 43, unemployed, have an inconsistent work history and live with my elderly parents. I can look back over 15 years of my life and see how things unfolded.
I have 2 questions actually:
1. If your peak life earnings at 40, how do you come to grips that you’re probably unemployable even if it’s by fate?
I gave up ever being able to get a mortgage.
I gave up having a wife and being able to support a family.
I gave up having a steady career.
I gave up my youth to seize opportunities when they appeared
So I’m not asking “how do I get a job?”
2) How do I cash in on all those sacrifices I made to create a lifestyle where I can stay connected to the world in some way or form and not just become another Dilbert waiting for retirement.
America is a terrible environment to sustain a marriage. And Western women in general aren’t suited to a successful marriage. Most women find most men unattractive marriage candidates anyway. I’m not opposed to a ‘life partner’ though. If my resume is terrible for finding a job, it’s even worse for finding a wife.
I feel like most stories about my life are boring and there’s nothing interesting to write about that I would feel comfortable sharing with you or anyone else. It sucks away all my inspiration to write even though I usually feel like I want to write after reading stories. I’m not trying to write long or anything, I can’t even come up with small stuff. I’m open to writing fictional stories too but I’m struggling to come up with interesting ideas there too. It’s been really discouraging to me. Do you have any advice on how to get over this?
The hardest thing for me is that I take care of the kids 24/7. No matter how flexible I am with family / extended family (even my ex’s family) or how hard I work at forging a community, I can’t find reliable people who can help watch my kids and I can’t pay for childcare on my income. How do you do it? How do you spend all day every day with kids and not go completely insane?
Whenever I think maybe I’ve found a balance and gotten some normalcy established, everything gets upended again and I’m back to square one with little to no childcare and staying up hours past their bedtime just so my introvert self can recharge. Idk if I’m just venting or if I actually think you might have an answer I haven’t thought of yet.
How the hell does anyone raise kids stay married and raise kids and have a job?
I asked him point-blank if he was planning to leave us (bc he’s threatening a lot in recent years since our kids passed the cute baby stage) He tells me at 11:45 pm that he doesn’t want to separate until the kids are older and then does this whole “If I’m still not enough for you then, then you are free to find someone else.”
Meanwhile, my 70-year-old mom just broke her ankle in NYC and I am all the way across the world in Greece.
My kids miss my family. I think it may be time to come back to the states, but not NYC. So I’m looking at suburbs, CT, and the greater Boston area. You were right ten years ago when you asked me what the hell I was doing with him.