Hi Penelope, I’m constantly thinking about dying. Your latest posts make me wonder if I have autism too. My last real boyfriend was 7 years ago and never again, could that be autism?
I’ve been doing psychoanalysis with a therapist for over a year and he’s never mentioned such a thing. He can listen to my over-explosive emotions in a detached way. Maybe he’s autistic too. Should I ask him?
Part of me wants to believe you and yet I feel I need more proof. Can I use psychoanalysis as another way to understand what’s going on and decide what to do?
What’s the best support that an autistic can have if their family denies it?
I just read an article of yours about divorce — it was spot on.
I don’t think my wife, who for “no good reason” is pushing for a divorce, would agree.
We have two young kids, and she doesn’t seem to think it will negatively affect them?!
So why are you telling me I’m the one with autism?
My grades are good enough to get into an Ivy league business school. I want to become an innovation consultant and write Harvard Business Review pieces and books on the direction of business as it relates to innovation, politics, society, and civic issues.
However, I know those jobs require very good social skills, and a few years ago you told me on the phone that I have autism. Since we have spoken, I’ve found that much of my daily experience matches up with other autistic women. I’m bad at keeping meetings on track. I don’t cope well with direct challenges to my authority. I do an exemplary job in independent contributor roles, but I always have communication/personality clashes with managers and co-workers.
A friend of mine who was previously socially unskilled told me getting an MBA really helped him develop leadership and soft skills. I’m hoping to get the same results so I don’t have to use one of my backup plans: doctor or engineer.
I have a four-year-old son with an ASD diagnosis. My son’s mother is in the process of getting a formal assessment for autism now as well. She has identified her own childhood was full of conflicts with her own mother and now her ability to maintain client relationships, thus negatively impacting her ability to sustain her business.
We are separated and co-parenting has been difficult. My perception is that autism influences the extent to which we don’t really understand each other’s motivation or accept each other’s points of view. It has led to police investigations and ugly disputes at family court over what I did or did not do according to her perception. i.e., the way I greet her on the street.
I see all of it connected to autism and a lack of understanding of what other people consider reasonable.
I don’t know to what extent my son has inherited these tendencies from both of our sides. If anything, he seems much happier than either of us, which reflects how hard we are both working to give him a good start.
I remember reading on your blog that both you and your ex-husband have autism and that you now seem to be getting on much better than before. I’d love to hear more about this.
I am thinking about ending my marriage. He continuously leaves when it gets hard or challenging by either physically leaving or having more affairs.
I have two daughters and I think it’s worse for them to see a father that can’t commit to his spouse. I don’t want my daughters to see that as their model and choose partners like that in the future.
My question is how do you know when it is really over? Also, I know the research says two parents together are better but if you are continuously fighting, is it really better? I don’t want a divorce; I can live with a chronic cheater like Elin Nordgren or Maria Shriver. Also, on a scale of 1 to 10 with 10 being there when the World Trade Centre fell, how hard is divorce?
Lastly, I just feel like I will never be able to love anyone again. Do I want to keep wasting my life on this guy?
I have autism and I want a woman to share my time with. However, this has proved exceedingly difficult.
I am now 31 years old and functioning a lot better than I did in my 20s. I often fool myself into thinking that I am really functional and should have no problem getting the things I want, but then I have a panic attack and remember that I am not like other people. That said I have a very good job, quite good looking and am in very good physical shape (I do triathlons).
The only women that have ever shown interest in me for any period of time are women I did not find attractive; women that I did find attractive but the idea that we were compatible was ludicrous; women with mental health problems of some sort also made them impossible to deal with.
Then, I tried using an online dating website where I was matched with another woman who has the same autism condition as me. Yet she has a social life and is less socially anxious than me. You would think we would be compatible and yet I did not get the impression that she found me attractive.
I feel like no normal woman wants a man that has almost no emotion or empathy and cannot join in with their social life. I am discouraged from the online dating experience.
Do you have any useful input for me?
I have a fitness coaching business and my client base has doubled since I started. Definitely grateful for the extra cash but I’m finding people are sending me novels about their workouts that are holding me up. I want to refine my efficiency to give them the help they need but I feel bad not responding and don’t want them to think I’m ignoring it.
How should I approach the response without being rude?
And because I’m getting more clients, I’ve become more irritable and burnt out. One client is bouncing between myself and another trainer. When issues pop up where people are being annoying, I’m just saying “yes” instead of arguing my point. How do I get out of this situation?
When you got off from your blogging journey as you hit personal roadblocks, how did you get back on track?
I want to know how you keep writing over so many years despite so many life changes.
I created this podcast about health and wellness. After putting in 2 years of consistent work, it doesn’t seem to be going anywhere. I started it to help others get through some of the tough stuff I went through. And even though the format includes interviews with folks who have gone through the same thing, some are best selling authors, it still has no real following.
What’s missing?
I want to find the best ways to navigate romantic and platonic relationships while I’m still single.