I just finished the INFJ course, and I wish I could thank you, but I won’t. That class made me see my plan for myself is totally fucked up.
I am 27, and working as an advisor to the government. Going to work everyday is exhausting to me: having to come up with all the things people ask me to do, the meetings, everything related to working in an office is just too much, plus the fact that I need to wake up super early to be able to save some time for myself before heading to the office, and also have at least two hours of alone time (I usually go to yoga) before getting back home to my boyfriend. It’s just too crazy.
My exit plan before following the course was to go into something related to health and wellness. I thought it would make more sense than my actual job, and I did my yoga teacher training and I’ve been practicing for more than 10 years now, so it has always been interesting to me. I know teaching yoga is a lot of marketing, I was thinking more about going back to school to study acupuncture and work as an acupuncture/massage therapist/yoga teacher + counting on my boyfriend to be the breadwinner (he’s an INTJ).
Knowing now, from your course, that I am a planner more than a doer, and that my exit plan might not get me what I need to be happy was kind of a relief (not having to go back to school full time for 3 years without a salary was scary), but now I am left without any plan and I feel totally depressed.
I miss my family, spending time with them is the only thing that makes sense to me, but I still have to make some money to live like pretty much everybody else. I have an amazing boyfriend and might have been interested in the kids plan (even though I can’t quite figure it out and still not sure I could do it), but I have been dealing with a disgusting eating disorder for 12 years which keeps me from having my period, and I don’t know if I’ll ever be able to eat enough to maintain my period, so I can’t and I do not want to count on that.
I have no idea what to look forward to anymore. I feel stuck in my beige cubicle and I want to die. Help.