Advice on daily decision making with Asperger’s

I am a college student with Asperger’s and I need some advice.

Daily decisions really wear me out and I am incredibly bad at making them. For instance, I had a wisdom tooth ache and I didn’t realize that it was causing all the health problems I’ve been having for years until I connected the dots yesterday. Also, I had trouble on deciding when to schedule my dental appointment because it would conflict with school. So, in making that decision, I had to weigh my own level of pain, the severity of the ailment and my personal schedule. It really drained me.

Also, I have a lot of trouble making daily snap decisions, such as whether to have lunch with friends or alone, where to study, what I should do with someone new I’ve just met, what I should do about an event/unexpected social plans that just cropped up but that may conflict with other errands that are in my schedule, when I should answer email or check my Facebook account, how I should behave when confronted with certain unique situations I’ve never encountered before, etc. etc.

I really don’t want this problem to keep me from living the life I want to live or stop me from doing what I want. Do you have any advice for me? How do you do it? Any tips would be extremely appreciated!

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What to say in an interview if I’ve been fired?

I love your site and have a sticky question to ask about resumes/interviews when you’ve been unemployed. You said you yourself had been fired a few times, so I hoped you might have some insight.

I worked at a company with a high rate of turnover and what was (in my mind) a toxic work environment. I was fired for the first time in my professional life last summer.

I know it’s something like career suicide to say your old bosses were horrible people and that you were victimized, but when asked about why you left the last job, what is appropriate to say?

I was considering something to the effect of, “Restructuring.” And also bringing up the detail that I was replaced by a contract worker, but I myself was offered continued freelance work with the company, after the fact (which shows that I couldn’t have been a horrific employee and that they liked my work).

Do I mention that there was constant restructuring at my old company? That I saw 60% of my colleagues get let go, restructured, or otherwise terminated?

It seems unfair that the only time my performance was called into question, it was by a volatile company. All the same, a lengthy explanation makes it sound like I’m covering something up.

I know the best course is diplomacy, but how do I cover my butt while being professional?

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When are questions insulting?

I have really great people on my network on Facebook (but not all of them talk to me) and yesterday I needed a few brilliant ideas that I turned to my Chat box and saw who among my Tech connections (people I look up and respect because of their ideas) are online and it happens that this “Social Media Boss” was online so I approached her with,

“Hi [name]
I was wondering if you could share some crazy ideas like what’s the craziest thing you’d do for something you’d really want?”

I fired up the question hoping it was interesting and perhaps she’d be so kind to share some, and I was totally taken aback by her answer:

“What made you think I would share ideas with you?”

I told her I’m sorry if she doesn’t want to and that’s fine with me; and I forgot her services are paid.

Now me and this lady have a lot of mutual friends, she’s a boss in a consulting company, but we never really talked except once I told her that I really liked the video interview of her despite the criticisms on it and she thanked me. Besides that, the second encounter was the unfortunate event yesterday.

Then she went on that “Do you pay by hour?” I told her I couldn’t afford her services and since she’s someone I look up to, perhaps I could get some ideas. Then she told me it was my nice way of saying I like her services but I want it for free.

Now I get it, maybe she felt insulted and violated that she’s someone that has mastered her skill and has become a “big shot”(at least her region and she thinks she is), and I, have been ‘stupid’ to ask for her ideas when she’s actually paid to do it. Then she goes on with:

“Thank your luck you’re one lowly an individual” that I wouldn’t trigger a backlash. Now that I must tell you, hurts.

But then again, I apologized if she felt insulted and violated because after all, we don’t have any strong association. She posted on her Wall that if I really “look up to her”, I wouldn’t ask her on a “cheap Facebook message”.

Penelope, I wonder if is that how most “big shots” really respond? Like when a blog reader asks you a question, would you feel insulted that I solicit your opinion or idea for free?

I would really appreciate your comment on this. Perhaps you could shed me and your other blog readers some light as to when is it “good” to ask questions, or is it even okay to ask “professionals” like her when she does consulting for a living. I thought it was an innocent question, but what do you think?

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