I’m scared having kids will ruin my career
Anyway, right now I am trying to assess whether I should have children at all. My husband definitely wants them. I think I want them too, but in reality, I know I would really struggle, especially the first few years because I would have to compromise at work. And he makes about twice as much money as me, so I would have to be the one to take the longer maternity leave and work around the nanny/daycare/whatever schedule much more than him, at least for now.
But if I decide no kids ever (leaving aside the damage to my marriage that would ensure), how do I know I won’t wake up when I’m 45 and really regret it? My personality makes me think that would probably happen. Then again, if I don’t have that strong urge to be a mother now, will I ever have it?
People constantly say I’m really nurturing, and I’d be a great mom. My own mother died when I was 22, so I don’t have a great sounding board for this stuff. Part of this may be coming from me seeing friends have babies and struggle with it. Three of my best friends from law school had kids within the past year, and all three tried to go back but quit working entirely within the first year.
What is your advice for women like me who are already pretty far into their careers and did not take your advice to have kids early?