What job is right for me now if I want to be a stay-at-home mom later?

I am a twenty-five-year-old ISFJ working as an administrative assistant in an insurance agency. I help the VP of Risk Management with everything and the HR Generalist with various projects. I’ve been here for a year and a half (a little longer than that), and it has been a great first job, but I am becoming increasingly disillusioned with the attitudes of management (the egos and greed are unbelievable) and am looking for a change.

I came across your blog recently, and since you seem responsive, I thought I would take a chance and ask for your input. I see very little on your blog about the right career for an ISFJ, other than being a stay-at-home mom. I would love to be a stay-at-home mom, but I have yet to find a husband, so in the meantime I need to support myself. I have always done well in administrative assistant roles, but have a hard time with motivation if I don’t appreciate the goals of my superiors. How can I find a job that fits me?

Thanks for any help or encouragement you can provide!

5 replies
  1. Penelope Trunk
    Penelope Trunk says:

    You have a really good handle on yourself – on what you need and what works for you.

    You may have to continue to work in a job that is not emotionally satisfying to you. But that will end when you get married. Consider that the goal of your jobs now is actually to support yourself while you are finding someone to make a family with. That’s a great goal. And being able to support yourself with a job will get you there.

    Also consider that if you had a huge important job right now you would not look like a good person to date to a guy who wants to marry a stay-at-home wife.

    So what you are doing is fine. And anyway, most people who work in their 20s are doing something that is not a good fit for them. It takes a long time to sort through jobs and move up ladders to get to a spot that is right — for all of us.

    For you this is true as well, but you will be in jobs that are not quite right for you while you are looking to get married. That’s fine. Lots of women do that (most college educated women would like to be home with their kids when the kids are very young). But most women are not self-aware enough to know this about themselves, or they know they want to stay home but they are too scared to admit it because society doesn’t support women wanting to stay home with kids.

    Good luck. And I hope this helps.


  2. jessica
    jessica says:

    I completely agree here. I would also add to take up a couple of hobbies (makes you more interesting and will make work life less the focus) and keep up with yourself in a way that is true to yourself (health, fitness, emotions). You’ll find someone in no time, just be sure to keep dating.

    Also, ‘But most women are not self-aware enough to know this about themselves, or they know they want to stay home but they are too scared to admit it because society doesn’t support women wanting to stay home with kids.’

    I like to think this blog is destroying what we care other people think, one post at a time and we support women (and men) staying home with kids, because family.

  3. Becky Castle Miller
    Becky Castle Miller says:

    Have you considered being a private tutor/homeschool consultant to several wealthy families? It would be like PA work but much more meaningful and would use your skills at detail work, one-on-one interaction, and nurturing.

    You are going to be an amazing homemaker, wife, and mom someday! My mom is ISFJ, and she was an incredible homeschooling mom. And now she’s a wonderful grandma and (still) a fantastic wife to my dad. And I’m glad for her that she now has time to pursue other hobbies and interests now that all of us kids are grown up.

  4. Kendra Vita
    Kendra Vita says:

    Perhaps a job that lends itself more to domesticity would be appealing to you. My Mom was also an ISFJ and loves interior decorating – our home always looked beautiful. Interior decorating, design or even home staging could be a really satisfying fit for you; and I bet you’re pretty good at those things already.

  5. Natasha
    Natasha says:

    Also – find a job at a company with lots of young, single men. Think engineering companies, advertising agencies, etc., if you dont have that pool of people at your current job.

    Happy hunting! xo current SAHM

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