I am an attorney, an ENTJ, and a new mom. I went to Harvard (twice) and worked in intellectually challenging, selective jobs since then. I’m currently in what was my dream job before I had a baby, but I’m miserable.
I miss my daughter. I like her daycare and I’m militant about seeing her as much as possible (every morning and night for dinner/bed), but I long for a richer family life. I also hate feeling bad at my job because I’m no longer single-minded about it. Every day is a blur of demands that I’m unable or unwilling to meet, which is torture for someone driven by achievement and deadlines. (Nearly 100% J on the MBTI.) After she goes to bed I work, eventually give up and pass out, then repeat. I also resent making very little money after turning down well-paying jobs for this more meaningful job.
We could afford for me to stay home if we budget very carefully, are planning more children soon, and would love to have a big family. But I worry that staying home now is is a waste of my education/training/past work, a failure to realize earning potential for my family, and a mistake given that I’m an ENTJ.
Part-time would be great, but, as you’ve noted, part-time versions of my kind of job don’t exist. Running a business would be an option (I love running things and budgeting), but I’m not creative and too risk-averse to be a good entrepreneur. I’m much better at ploughing through via hard work than coming up with an innovative way to make life easier.
Switching legal jobs would likely mean the same schedule and violating a four-year commitment to my current job. I’ve done a lot of research and have no idea what I would do beyond law, although I’m willing to try anything at this point. Including driving a city bus and/or being with my daughter and reading long-form articles.
I also thought I might not actually be an ENTJ given my emotional reaction to becoming a mother, lack of interest (before I began hating my job and paying for quality daycare) in making lots of money, and longstanding desire to do something “meaningful” as well as prestigious. But my ENTJ results have been consistent over ten years. Should I be another mom lawyer who quits? Work for more money? Or is there some third way I haven’t thought of?
Any advice you can offer is greatly appreciated!
P.S. If your son actually wants advice on going to Harvard, I’m happy to help however I can.