How the hell does anyone raise kids stay married and raise kids and have a job?

I asked him point-blank if he was planning to leave us (bc he’s threatening a lot in recent years since our kids passed the cute baby stage) He tells me at 11:45 pm that he doesn’t want to separate until the kids are older and then does this whole “If I’m still not enough for you then, then you are free to find someone else.”

Meanwhile, my 70-year-old mom just broke her ankle in NYC and I am all the way across the world in Greece.

My kids miss my family. I think it may be time to come back to the states, but not NYC. So I’m looking at suburbs, CT, and the greater Boston area. You were right ten years ago when you asked me what the hell I was doing with him.

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4 replies
  1. Penelope Trunk
    Penelope Trunk says:

    Since I was right about what the hell you’re doing with him, maybe you’ll give me the benefit of doubt for being right on this:

    Nothing will work better than you making the kids’ dad feel important and valued. The kids will not be happier being across the world from their dad.

    You do not make enough money to live in Connecticut. Also, there are no single moms in Connecticut. It’s too expensive and too social-climbing. Single moms don’t commute to NYC. I hope you’re not planning for that. It’s unheard of.

    The suburbs of Boston is a little more manageable. But what is the point? The only reason you should move to the Boston suburbs is to be in the Newton school district because it’s one of the best in the country for Autism, but it’s also one of the most expensive school districts in the country: you get what you pay for.

    Generally speaking, you have used geography as a way to solve problems in the past, and it didn’t work. And it’s not going to work now. I have lived in NYC, LA, Chicago, Boston, Philadelphia, Paris, Jerusalem, a farm in Wisconsin, and a farm in France. I can tell you for sure it has never mattered where I live — I have the same problems everywhere I go.

    Penelope

    Reply
  2. Kristi
    Kristi says:

    I know it always makes me feel better to have options, to not feel trapped, so I’ll offer a couple quick things with that in mind. Penelope’s advice to work on your relationship with your husband could make staying more of a viable option. Re: moving closer to your family,a quick google tells me that Connecticut’s cost of living index is 107.8 and the median home cost is $239,600, compared to the national average of $231,200. Of course it’s better if you can be somewhere with a cost of living that’s below average, but that isn’t wildly above average, looking at statewide data. Using Census Data, this Patch article mentions that 26% of Connecticut households are single-parent households, which is slightly above the average of 23%. The article is interesting because it talks about cities with higher proportions of single-family households and parents in the workforce, which is where I’m headed with this. It seems that you might be able to find places that are more affordable and where the people are more relatable by researching specific towns and neighborhoods. https://patch.com/connecticut/across-ct/1-4-ct-families-children-are-single-parent-families

    Reply
  3. Nami
    Nami says:

    I love this response, haha. It makes me wonder how often you get emails from people, years later, telling you that you were right that they shouldn’t have married the person they are with. This is the second one that I know of. (I also wonder if you ever get any emails years later telling you that you were wrong.)

    Reply
  4. Roxana
    Roxana says:

    You can have kids, husband and a job from 9 to 17. Not bad, not perfect. If you overwork at one of this points, say job or kids, y’re screwed. And more important, if you live in Europe, introduce the four dimension of your life….You. Just put yr husband to take care of the kids and prepare a steak while you go to a zumba class. Just ask yr kids and hub to help you , do not do to much for them, they wont apreciate. With work, well… who doesn’t work, will not make mistakes, and who doesn’t do mistakes, deserve a promotion:))). What i want to say, dont work alot, work smart.

    Reply

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