Why are you telling me I have autism?
I just read an article of yours about divorce — it was spot on.
I don’t think my wife, who for “no good reason” is pushing for a divorce, would agree.
We have two young kids, and she doesn’t seem to think it will negatively affect them?!
So why are you telling me I’m the one with autism?
Just reading this last email tells me you have autism. You think you wrote a totally normal email, but you didn’t. And that’s what is so frustrating to your wife living with you day in and day out. There is a gap between what you see is reasonable and what your wife sees. Do you want to acknowledge this gap? Because working through the difficulty of listening might help you save your marriage.
You are not paying me, so I have no incentive to sugarcoat things for you. And I don’t even know your wife so I have no reason to take her side over yours. I do know that you understand the impact of divorce on your kids, so you are writing to a third party for input. I’m telling you about autism so you can engage in the problem instead of judging your wife. Part of being autistic is being unable to see the full problem, and that’s where you are right now.
Penelope
You are the autistic one because you’re the one thinking logically. I’ve been reading occasional P.T. articles for years and was always confused that her guidelines pointed to me being autistic. And then this past May (age 50) I saw a YouTube video that was finally the tipping point for me. There are lots of online YouTube channels for late (adult) diagnosed and questioning Autistics. Autism from the Inside, Purple Ella, The Aspie World, Yo Samdy Sam, and many more. Welcome! Good luck with your marriage.
Wait.
Can you elaborate on why this email isn’t normal?
He asks a question and sounds frustrated with his wife. Most people in the middle of a divorce are probably stressed and frustrated.
I don’t have a relationship with this person. I have exchanged two emails. So it’s inappropriate for him to write passive-aggressive sentences about his wife to me. All divorces are a result of both people making poor decisions in the marriage which is why strangers definitely don’t want to hear a person complaining about their divorcing spouse.
The other autistic thing about the email is he is tone deaf to why she is getting a divorce. He is saying she is not caring about how the divorce will negatively affect the kids. But he is ignoring how much she hates him. And he is being extremely unappealing while he ignores how unappealing he is to her.
So basically he has an arrogant tone, and he has no idea that he is presenting. himself to me in a foolish way. This is quintessential autism. Recently I read that narcissism is an autism spectrum disorder and the better someone is at math the more a gap there will be between their arrogant presentation and their foolish result. I think this guy is good at math.
Penelope