Is my son too inflexible to homeschool?

My son is constantly overstimulated, and school was just making it worse, so now we’re homeschooling. But honestly? It’s not any better. I wanted to have flexibility to adapt to what he needs.

He doesn’t listen to me, he argues about everything, and nothing gets done unless it’s something he picked and it’s easy for him. I keep telling him, he’s not going to learn anything that way but he doesn’t care. He just shrugs or walks off like I’m the crazy one.

Everyone keeps saying, age eight is so sweet because they’re still listening to adults. Really? That is not my experience. I feel like I’m constantly chasing him, and dealing with  his energy, and maybe this is just who he is. We had him evaluated and the report said he’s smart and there’s nothing wrong. Great. So it’s just me, then?

I’m a very flexible person but I don’t know what to do. Do I just let him do whatever he wants? I don’t know anyone else dealing with this. I’m overwhelmed and I know I’m  failing at this. What do other parents do? What did you do?

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Can I change my job title on my resume?

My friend changes the job titles on her resume depending on what job she’s applying to. This doesn’t seem honest to me. Do you think she’ll get in trouble?

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When my son asks my brother a career question

I used to write about this brother a lot. Now he’s older and he’s giving career advice to my son. Here’s what Z wrote my brother: Here’s a copy of my resume. Can you please give me feedback and also, I can’t decide between data analyst,  AI engineering, or AI research. Everyone is applying to every AI job so I think I should probably do data analyst. What is your opinion?

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My dad told me to email you about law school

Dear Ms. Trunk,

My dad has been a fan of yours for a long time, and he told me I should ask you about law school. I am a college senior at [top 10 school] and I’m pretty sure I want to go to law school. My dad wants me to try working in another field first, before I go to law school. He says he’s not paying for law school “over his dead body.” So I am trying to decide what to do. I really just want to take a year off after college while I study for the LSAT and then apply to law schools.

I appreciate your time, Ms. Trunk.

Sincerely,

[Redacted]

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Should I ask a question during company training?

Tomorrow I’ll be in a training program with the head of our product division at [redacted company] and 30 other new employees. There will be 20 minutes for questions. Can you suggest a good question to ask?

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Do you want to do my autism music therapy idea with me?

What do you think about a music therapy / art therapy initiative for autistic people of all ages. My husband and I do a lot of music therapy work with children and adolescents reimbursed through Medicaid and scholarships. I am homeschooling a 6 and 2 year old and I won’t be able to work as much so I’m thinking of ideas that are not oriented to hourly fees.

I think what I want to ask is your advice. And also if you’re interested in partnership, as a research or curiosity. Or as a guide. Because I’m a music therapist and not a business person at all. My husband is also a music therapist and autistic and he is particularly brilliant as a music therapist. But he is getting older (54) and won’t be able to keep doing the same work forever and I’m trying to imagine new possibilities that are useful and meaningful in the world. He just quit his job as a school teacher to do music therapy privately so this is a good time to start something new.

Now I feel embarrassed for even writing this email because I know you’re going to see through it to the real question and the real issue, which I can’t seem to quite grasp yet.

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What is the most important thing for an autistic mom to do?

I know you’ve told me. But can you remind me? Is it the most important thing we can do for the kids is be emotionally available and make them feel loved?

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Will my autistic kid go to a great college?

Dear Penelope,

I am so happy to have found your blog. I read What explains the outsized success of autistic applicants to college post. My 4-year-old son was diagnosed with mild to moderate autism. He has language, social, cognitive and motor delays. He is not intellectually disabled. His developmental pediatrician says that he is smart. Do these universities(MIT, Stanford, Harvard) have students like my kid? I know that these universities have students with autism, but they may be very smart and may have just social delay when they were young. I like to dream. My dream is that my kid will go to such great universities despite all the challenges he is facing right now. I feel his autism will help him get into these universities.

 

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If you and I are both autistic, why are you with a partner and I can’t find one?

Dear Penelope,

Why does it seem that even people that I seem to align with are capable of finding a happy relationship, when I remain single and alone? How the hell do you do it (the normal being with another person thing, without pretending to not be you all the time? Or does ther person you are with love you just the way you are? How in the hell do I find that? Does he have a brother?

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Should I self-publish my children’s book?

Dear Penelope,

I just made a children’s book. Literally just finished it and shared it with you.

I’m considering self publishing through Amazon (kindle direct publishing, instagram spark, or china), but I think the book is pretty good, and maybe it’s worth pursuing a traditional publishing deal. I’ve got a couple more books that are partially completed.

Never done this before and would love your opinion.

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