Can I afford to not work?

Hi Penelope,
I’ve been reading your blog since I was 16? 18?. It was a big contributing factor in purposefully deciding against big career ambitions. So after my undergrad in [redacted] (stupid major unless you want to purse a PhD) I did my teaching qualifications to teach high school math. Had my daughter 2 weeks before graduation and have been a stay at home mom ever since. Also moved from [expensive city non US] to [expensive city US] bc husband is American.

I would love to homeschool? Who are these women who are working for fun? I definitely prefer to stay home bake bread and not send the toddler to daycare. Hubs come from a double income family. MIL thinks the kind of income required to have a SAHM is 500 000. Hubs works in computer science in big tech but is still fairly junior (we are late twenties).
So anyway I’m going to work next year as a teacher.
We waiting to have kid number 2 bc housing prices are insane.
I underestimated how much of an outlier I would feel socially. I am the youngest mom I meet everywhere, by at least 5 years if not 10. And most families we meet can afford 30k/year daycare for 2 kids and international vacation for toddlers etc. (usually dual income families in tech who are senior or principals.

Am I crazy?

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Is my son too inflexible to homeschool?

My son is constantly overstimulated, and school was just making it worse, so now we’re homeschooling. But honestly? It’s not any better. I wanted to have flexibility to adapt to what he needs.

He doesn’t listen to me, he argues about everything, and nothing gets done unless it’s something he picked and it’s easy for him. I keep telling him, he’s not going to learn anything that way but he doesn’t care. He just shrugs or walks off like I’m the crazy one.

Everyone keeps saying, age eight is so sweet because they’re still listening to adults. Really? That is not my experience. I feel like I’m constantly chasing him, and dealing with  his energy, and maybe this is just who he is. We had him evaluated and the report said he’s smart and there’s nothing wrong. Great. So it’s just me, then?

I’m a very flexible person but I don’t know what to do. Do I just let him do whatever he wants? I don’t know anyone else dealing with this. I’m overwhelmed and I know I’m  failing at this. What do other parents do? What did you do?

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Where are the best science tutors?

Hi Penelope. I figured you might know where to find an online college chemistry tutor. Is there any online tutoring service you have found that works for advanced science classes?

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How can I convince my ex that we should homeschool?

I am finally at a place where I can seriously plan to homeschool my son later this year. I have secured a good job where I can work remotely and my mom is nearby to help during the day.

But I need to convince his dad–we have 50/50 custody. Do you have any suggestions to help me get support on this with my ex-husband? He is an ISTJ.  And I’m an INFJ.

 

 

 

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What do you mean when you say make kids do difficult things?

I am a parent of 2 girls who I homeschool. I’d appreciate it if you extrapolated the idea of making your kids do difficult things. I am guessing it is to build resilience. But I’d like to hear your reasoning and get some examples of what you mean. 

 

 

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How can I homeschool after a divorce?

I want to homeschool both kids but I’m a single mom and I need to allow myself more flexibility to make $50K/year and still be there more for them since their father is gone.

One daughter is very creative and artistic, so I want to guide her to being a small business artist while the other one is more gifted in math and people stress her out. They are both still under 10. Does this sound like a plan that will work?

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What’s the point of getting an autism diagnosis for a homeschooler?

I homeschool my two kids — they’re 6 and 9 — and I am coming to terms with the fact that something is off-kilter with my youngest. I think about you getting a diagnosis as you sought help for your son.

I’ve always found labels uncomfortable, mostly because I haven’t found them to be helpful and I hate having to explain them to other people. Plus, I’m not sure about what specifically can be done to help my daughter, especially since she’s not in school.

So my questions are:

Do you think having an autism diagnosis has helped you and your son? Also, do you think that the specific diagnosis/label is more helpful to understanding each other and to your parenting than knowing your individual Myers-Briggs personality types?

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What companies make the best tools for homeschoolers?

I am developing a niche homeschooling social network. Our goal is to accelerate the advent of homeschooling by connecting students, parents, educators, and traveling families worldwide. What are roadblocks you see to this sort of company? I’d appreciate hearing any advice, concerns, or desired features.

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How to help a teen to like reading poetry

A friend sent me this blog post you wrote that has studies about how poetry and empathy feed on each other. I don’t know about poetry but I’d like to learn to read it. And I’d like my teenaged daughter to have more empathy as you could imagine even though you have sons. Can you tell me books to get?

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Your parenting philosophies are flawed

I know I can speak frankly with you since you’re not actually going to be reading this.  I found you through an internet search that went something like “what distance is too great lessons Suzuki drive”…for my six Suzuki Strings players with their myriad practices, private lessons, and group classes.

Sometimes, and especially as a musician knowing how insidiously vicarious living can hold sway in these decisions, I worry that I’m wasting time that could be better spent elsewhere or that my motives for pushing on are poor.  I was, therefore, cringing inwardly reading your post about same.

But, your unschooling philosophy also has flaws, as does your idea of channeling children away from extracurriculars that don’t fit their personality. That assumes a great deal of perspicacity on the part of the parent and seems against “delight directed learning” that unschoolers seem always to be promoting.

I also don’t believe children in general will have focus or discipline to keep at even areas of delight without training from an adult. Do children or adults even know themselves? It takes years and better personality tests.

In addition, there are some life skills that are necessary whether one is delighted by them or not – basic math, cleanliness, literacy, and (I would submit) religious training all come to mind.

Penelope, I’m rambling now. I’m going to close by thanking you once again for writing in an honest, open, approachable way about your opinions.

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