How long is it ok to go without a raise in a job you otherwise like? I have been at the same pay rate for two years–if I don’t get offered a raise this year, should I make a fuss? The money I make is fine, I don’t need more, but I worry it’s embarrassing not to be given a raise for so long–I want to continue doing cool projects and learning different areas of the department, and I’m worried they won’t see me as moving forward if I’m not pushing for more $$. I’m definitely better at the job and can do a lot more than two years ago.
How can I tactfully avoid answering personal questions about myself in everyday conversation? I hate talking to other people about myself and keep my life as private as possible, and would like to avoid disclosing to people various details of my life such as what I do for work, what I study at school, what my hobbies are, etc. Is it even possible to avoid such basic, friendly questions without coming across as totally standoffish and arrogant?
People are always surprised to hear that I’m three years out of college. They think I’m much younger. I have been working since I was 16 and I have a lot more experience than most kids just out of college. How can I get people to take me more seriously? I never wear jeans to work and it’s not like I’m showing up in pajama bottoms and flip flops. I almost always wear heels and a nice skirt or suit. But still people assume I’m really young and have no work experience.
I’ve joined this firm at the beginning of this year and work-wise, its been great. However, on hind sight and looking at the problems I’ve been having, I think that I am being bullied. I was looking forward to being part of a young and dynamic organisation. However, it turns out that I’m being called a bitch at work.
I cannot even begin to consider who my ‘enemy’ might be. I am always friendly and try to be non-threatening. A colleague at work told me that it could be due to the fact I am young, married to a successful man and have nice things without being broke. I think its silly but no one else seems to have an explanation.
This affects my life because a bunch of women put together a performance plan for me and presented it to a partner. This will affect my career progression. I’ve recently done more work for men and they are happy with what I have done for them. I don’t want to think that my problem is due to women taking each other down. Can you offer a way to get rid of this problem? I am over understanding why but rather a solution to how to deal with office politics without trying to look ugly or make an effort to be inferior in some way.
I focused on academics during my college career and wanted to go down the academic/public policy analysis/research route. However, after 1.5 years at a think tank and 1 year in a Ph.D. program, I decided to switch things up. I am currently at a niche consulting firm in pharmaceuticals. I would like to succeed in this career. One thing I continuously hear is that social skills are important in this industry. As my background suggests, my social skills were not refined. How does one go about improving their social skills? Would Toastmaster’s be a good thing to try? People I have talked with really haven’t given concrete advice. They primarily say that “you are introverted.” That may be true, but I would like to improve them.
I work for a large corporation and have been with the company for eight years. In those eight years, I have been promoted or moved to another division for more pay four times. I am fairly certain another such opportunity will be coming up at the beginning of 2012. Here is the issue: When I am told that I have gotten the job, I am either told the salary is X or am sent a letter with the salary information, so there is really no opportunity for negotiation. I understand why the company presents the information in this way, but each job has a salary range (which is not known) and I would like to negotiate up, if possible. Do you have any advice on opening up negotiations when the salary is presented in such a “this is final” way?
I’ve been seeing a co-worker now for about 2 weeks, and like any relationship where you spend all your time together, things have escalated quickly. We’re not in the same department, but the company is only about 45 people, so I do see him several times a day. I try to be nonchalant about it, but outside of work, we’re becoming emotionally and physically attached in a way that I was unprepared for. A drunken kiss-turned-relationship in about 3 days flat.
Is this totally stupid? I’m new to this office and city, and until him and his group of friends I hadn’t found my “people.” Now I think I have, which complicates him and the situation even further. We literally haven’t been apart except in our cubicles for nearly 10 days straight.
What do you usually tell people in this situation? He’s not my superior, he’s not even much older than me, and we haven’t told people at work. How would you navigate this?
I have blown work relationships with more people than I care to think about because of my bad temper. Now I’m struggling in my career. Part of it is the shrinking jobs and pay but I know it’s more so because of the bridges I’ve burned. I’m good at my job and I can be pleasant and fun –when my buttons aren’t being pushed. I’m actually very capable, responsible and smart. It’s just that I have issues.
I’m in therapy and I know it has to do with being criticized and having emotionally abusive parents. I get easily wounded and insecure, and I lash out.
Right now I should be using some of the many contacts I’ve developed along the way, and the influential people I know. (You can’t tell from looking at me that I have this problem and I have lots of friends.) But I fear using some helpful contacts because I know those people know the people I’ve had incidents with and I worry they know about it. Ugh.