I’ve been reading your blog for about a year and I love it! I’m a Millennial about two years out of college. So I was wondering if you had some advice for me-what would you do if you were offered a job at the same office as your boyfriend? I interviewed at the same company, but at a different branch. It looks like I may be offered a position at his location.

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2 replies
  1. Penelope Trunk
    Penelope Trunk says:

    It’s not ideal. If you have another option that’s almost as good, I’d probably take that option. Otherwise, just play it really cool at work.

    To be honest, it hurts you a lot more than it hurts him. You get tons of attention for being a young woman — older men just like being around you. Having your boyfriend there means you’ll get a lot less of that attention which is, in the end, bad for your career.

    Here’s one statistic, among a gazillion, to support what I’m saying: University of Santa Cruz ran a study about women who get mentoring. And most men who mentor women do it, in part, because there’s attraction there. I’m not saying this is good or bad, it’s just reality. And you’d get better mentoring if your boyfriend were not circling you at work.

    Penelope

  2. Blazingsuth
    Blazingsuth says:

    It also depends on how the workplace is set up. I was in a similar situation and accepted the job; it worked out really well. The key is that we worked in different areas of the building, on different schedules, and had no supervision in common. We rarely saw each other during the day so it had almost no impact on our jobs. When we did see each other, we kept it VERY professional – absolutely no PDA or endearments (ie babe, sweetie).

    If the company is large enough and your jobs are different enough, you could make it work out. I also found that it was really useful to tell guys when they were trying to hit on the new girl that “I have a boyfriend and you work with him.” Most guys aren’t willing to cross that line at work (and the ones who will aren’t worth networking with). I had no trouble after the first week once word got around to all of the ‘players’.

    Think it through and look carefully and realistically at what boundaries you and your boyfriend are willing to impose on yourselves if you do take the job.

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