How to get authority over another department of the company?

My company is fairly small (~100 people) and only does outsourcing. Finding another job is certainly an option. However, I work with my boss on a daily basis and he’s actually very open to hearing ideas on what his employees want to do with their careers. I think he’s an ENFJ. Still, it seems crazy to just ask him to give me a project to manage completely out of the blue.

I’d greatly appreciate any advice you could give me. My job is so full of excruciatingly boring details, tedious and unchallenging that even thinking about it makes me want to slit my wrists.

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What is executive presence and how do you get it?

I’m putting together materials for clients on executive presence and making good impressions. Would this opener set the right tone?

Executive presence is the ability to inspire confidence, so your team wants to follow you and leadership wants to promote you.

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I get long client emails; how do I respond respectfully and quickly?

I have a fitness coaching business and my client base has doubled since I started. Definitely grateful for the extra cash but I’m finding people are sending me novels about their workouts that are holding me up. I want to refine my efficiency to give them the help they need but I feel bad not responding and don’t want them to think I’m ignoring it.

How should I approach the response without being rude?

And because I’m getting more clients, I’ve become more irritable and burnt out. One client is bouncing between myself and another trainer. When issues pop up where people are being annoying, I’m just saying “yes” instead of arguing my point. How do I get out of this situation?

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How to support mom-preneurs with autism?

I was hired to teach a workshop to a group of mom-preneurs and it was so obvious that at least 5 of the women had some form of autism. When I mentioned this to the head of the organization, she asked me what she could do to make sure she supported these individuals.

Most of the small business owners are women, moms and minority women.

How do I best support these “mom-preneurs” in a workplace or educational environment? And can I make money doing this?

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You post about reporting harassment is offensive

I am a 14-year-old high school student, and I am very passionate about woman rights and respecting woman in general. I find that article to be horrible, it Is teaching girls that they can’t focus on a career and be mothers, my mother had me at 38 and my sister at 36 and she chose to do that even though she married fairly young. I find it saddening that you believe woman have to get pregnant in their 20s, and that you feel the need to shame women who don’t. 

However, most disturbing is that you are telling women to let men sexually harass them, at the age of 14 I have already been getting cat called for three years, harassed by grown men in public, and harassed and stalked by a high school student two years my senior, for an entire year. you saying that just because stuff like that happens every day, women shouldn’t report it, hurts my heart. I can’t believe a woman would say something like that, it sets us back so many years. I wish you had never said anything like this, but,  you did and all I can do is say something. I will always say something because boys will not be boys and women will not take it.

This is not a hate note of any kind I just need for you to hear from the people your effecting.

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His manager called him “the shy guy.”

My husband’s manager of almost 2 years today introduced him as ‘the shy guy’ in the team to a new senior manager. Anyone who knows my husband would at laugh at this.

The ‘shy guy’ was the only thing the manager could think of about him to introduce him, despite the fact that my husband has recently been involved in many key issue resolution and other projects. A variety of people in the organization interact with my husband, and anyone from his mom to his recent acquaintances would not call him shy.

What can make a manager say this of a person? Would you have any insight?

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Letter from the LA Times

Dear Penelope,
I am the new syndicated columnist for Careers Now from Tronc (Chicago Tribune and LA Times online content agency). I found your website and would like to get your input on a question that I have to answer for my next installment of the column. The only catch is that I will need your input by the end of the day this Friday. The answer doesn’t have to be long–I only have room for about 300-400 words

THE QUESTION:

How do I go about making a career change from corporate America to something meaningful?

–Kathleen Furor

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Is it time for me to take a break?

I really enjoyed your recent blog post about taking a break, but I was wondering what a break that is not constructive looks like? I’ve been thinking about taking a year off of work to go to grad school, or to travel, or to do both, but, as a longtime reader of your blog, I know that you aren’t a fan of either. Do you have any advice for a way to structure the break so that you end up in a better place on the other side of it?

I know that I’m approaching a point in my life that I need a break and to change, but I’m not quite sure that grad school/travel would be a way of avoiding problems instead of changing in order to be better able to face future problems. If it helps, I’m an INFP.

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I’m sick of dealing with incompetence

I’m an INTJ, and I have a quick question.

I’m a Ph.D. student of theoretical physics and as usual, I discuss my research with my supervisor. Because she doesn’t bother to get into the detail of calculations, or maybe because she doesn’t care enough, sometimes she makes obviously stupid comments, and such things make me angry a little. So I feel she thinks I’m arrogant, even if I don’t get angry and try to explain (explaining stuff is a little hard for me…). But I’m not. I do appreciate when she has some good comments (which she does sometimes…).

So can you help me to avoid such misunderstandings?

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How to recover from a workplace affair?

After 12 years of not a single date, desire, need or want for a man/companionship in any way, my coworker and I unintentionally fell in love. Loves me for who I am, your happiness is my happiness and all that jazz.

Problem is, he is sort of married. Not legally married but wears a ring, they share a child and a home. However, it’s an insane partnership where both have hurt each other in every way, constant fighting, one of those “were staying for the kids” relationships at this point. Mostly bad with good moments.

I lost my virginity to him. We told each other we loved each other and had sex all within a 3-month span. Lots of late nights in the office, however we only had sex the one time. When he kissed me I actually lost my breath and went weak in the knees. When we had sex, it was perfect in every way. He was wonderful to me.

The problem with all of that is, he has completely changed on me, even though he swore he wouldn’t and I’m miserable. I don’t know what happened, but he won’t talk about it even though he knows I’m an ENFJ and my two needs are communication and quality time.

One day he will sneak a handhold in from across the desk and tell me he loves me. The next he won’t even let me speak to him.

I decided for myself weeks ago that I was done, this was over, I deserve better, this is bullshit, etc. The hell of it is, I not only have to work in the same building, but we are the COO’s of the companies only two departments that go hand in hand.

I have constant anxiety.

I think what I’m struggling with is, I can’t decide on a story. Either I was a complete and utter fool who was someone’s mistress and lost my virginity and this was the biggest mistake of my life. Which is a hard pill to swallow when you have pride yourself on being a strong, smart hard worker with a healthy dose of confidence. This is very new, and if I’m being perfectly honest, pathetic feeling to me.

Or, as my friends like to tell me, I waited until I was almost 30 to have sex with someone I loved. With the person I have loved more than anyone in my entire life. And it was wonderful. And with all the growing and learning I’ve done, how could that be a mistake?

The real problem is this: I have worked my ass off to get this position. Worked my way up from the bottom, nights and weekends, many sacrifices, etc. I love my job. I am fantastic at it. I was made for management. I have hand chosen my team, and they are amazing. I have never worked so hard before in my life but somehow never tire.

I don’t know that I can with having to see him every single day. Because then it hasn’t really ended. I don’t have the luxury of choosing to not see him or talk to him.

So, should I stay or should I go? Would leaving be giving him even more power? This is more change in my life (in a very big real way) because of him? Should I stay in spite him, stand my ground and what not?

I bought my own house two years ago, I’m not making a lot of money but its the most I’ve ever made and am more than comfortable, financially speaking. I have no prospects job wise but a healthy savings.

Wherever you go, there you are, that’s a thing. I know leaving won’t resolve this but at least I wouldn’t be tormented by him and his games 10 hours a day.

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