Preparing for a Performance Review

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I have questions about performance reviews:
What can I expect to happen at a performance review?
How should I prepare?
I have been preparing for my performance review by tracking the goals they set for me and making sure I am meeting and exceeding them. However, I was curious if there was anything I needed to do right before my performance review?
Should I create a list of great projects I have worked on and results I have created?
Should I bring a list to the meeting to help me stay on track?
Should I send an email to my supervisors prior to the meeting with notes and details from the past year?
Should I expect a raise or do I need to ask for one?
I am expecting to get a raise at my review but I wasn’t sure if I needed to ask for one or if they would offer me one?
What if I don’t like the raise they offer me? How should I prepare?
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Anger Problems at Work

I have blown work relationships with more people than I care to think about because of my bad temper. Now I’m struggling in my career. Part of it is the shrinking jobs and pay but I know it’s more so because of the bridges I’ve burned. I’m good at my job and I can be pleasant and fun –when my buttons aren’t being pushed. I’m actually very capable, responsible and smart. It’s just that I have issues.

I’m in therapy and I know it has to do with being criticized and having emotionally abusive parents. I get easily wounded and insecure, and I lash out.

Right now I should be using some of the many contacts I’ve developed along the way, and the influential people I know. (You can’t tell from looking at me that I have this problem and I have lots of friends.) But I fear using some helpful contacts because I know those people know the people I’ve had incidents with and I worry they know about it. Ugh.

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Dragging a Partner Out of the Closet

I am a 35-year-old queer lady working in IT. I  have been out at work as a lesbian for 10 years, and always felt comfortable doing so.

But now I’m hitting a new challenge in my life. I was recently unemployed for a year, and during that year my female partner went under treatment for gender identity issues, and changed genders to male.

The relationship has worked out for us, so I am now a queer lady partnered with a queer-identified man. The word “queer” seems to be the best identifier for me: I have a nuanced enough identity that I don’t identify as “bisexual.” I’m not in a “lesbian” relationship. And I’m into my partner, but not most guys.

In the last few months, I have found myself starting at a great new job, but find myself plagued by the feeling of being in the closet.

Having a girlfriend was always shorthand for saying that I’m gay at work, but now I have a boyfriend who doesn’t want the whole world to know — upon first meeting — that he used to be a woman.  If I told my coworkers the whole story — which might be too much right now anyways — I would be ‘outing’ him before he has even met most of them socially and has a chance to decide what he wants them to know.

How does someone like me avoid this feeling of being in the closet?

Socially I’m in a whole new world here.

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Choosing a Specialty

I’m a management consultant with an MBA and a technology focus. Every time I try to choose an area to specialize in, I get interested in something else. I really don’t care very much what subject matter I’m working on. What I like about my work is rapidly learning new things, making sense out of ambiguous situations, high pressure to deliver, meeting a lot of new people and the prestige and good salary/benefits that allow my husband to stay home with our kids. There is enough work to do at my company that so far I have always taken new projects in totally different areas just based on what interests me and avoiding too much travel.

But I don’t think I’m going to be able to progress and become a leader if I don’t choose a niche – and I can’t see myself ever finding a new job with such a broad focus. I do eventually want a new job to avoid travel and to build a more lasting network. For that I am pretty sure I need to specialize and become an expert in something. But how do I choose what?  It can’t just be random or I’ll have a hard time committing.
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Sex Harassment: How Bad is This?

Penelope what do you when unwanted advances escalate after leaving a work place?

A senior manager of my friend’s company has been making unwanted advances to my friend. So [she quit working at the company]. That manager, who is married with children, has taken the advances further now that she has left the company.

She has not told her husband the full extent as with most men he would confront him, possibly physically. She has not told her new boss even though she made it clear if she has any probems especially with men to let her know.

Now it’s a small world and this man has been appearing at some of the same events… [Note: I deleted the rest. It was twelve paragraphs of details. But you can imagine it.]

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Will Adderall Help My Career?

How do you feel about taking Adderall to get through the day? I have not been diagnosed with ADHD/ADD, but I have taken it to pass exams and get through days where I had zero energy and a million things on my to do list. The benefits are great and I wish I had a prescription.

Normally I am tired constantly even though I eat healthy, get good sleep and exercise 2 – 3 times a week. I am also normally anti-social and struggle to stay motivated at work, even though I work for a great company and enjoy my job. If I am not taking Adderall you can probably find me drinking Red Bull or taking a 5 Hour Energy, but it doesn’t compare.

I hate to admit how I rely on these things but when I see how happy, motivated, and focused I am, I gain the confidence I need. I’m in the early stages of a career I want to do amazing things with and I don’t want to get off track. If something so simple can make amazing improvement, is it worth it?

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Coping with Shyness

I am a very shy person. I hardly say a word in the public. I have just been appointed the head of the marketing department. What should I do?

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Focusing on career with a new baby in hand.

I’m in a job now that’s 70% mind-numbingly boring/frustrating and 30% great; I’ve been here for almost 5 years. Almost a year ago, I had a daughter and have been able to stay at home with her on Fridays (for a pay cut). I couldn’t be happier with my home life situation, but my job is really wearing on me. I’m now being recruited for a few opportunities, both inside and outside of my company, most of which would be more interesting and with more pay, but none would allow for this 80% work schedule. So my home life would surely suffer. I guess the question is how do I advance in my career while also being happy at home? Is this even possible?

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Can I Quit a Good Job?

I have a great job. It pays well, I work with a great team, I have been given many great opportunities, and I am learning a lot and developing my skills. I am currently working on a very high-profile project that, over the next 2 years will provide me with valuable experience and exposure.

The problem is that I’m bored out of my skull. I’m an underutilized resource. While the work is good, the pace is excruciatingly slow, and I could do so much more. Yes, I have asked for more work, but considering I am fully funded and am promised to our client as full time, I am not permitted to take on other work as well.

The question is, do I stick it out for a couple years to gain the experience and make me more valuable to my next employer, or do I jump ship now because the day to day is less than ideal?

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Workaholic Boss

What if your boss is a workaholic. Is it worth trying to make him love you?

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