Dear Penelope,
I haven’t seen you write much about the trades, but I’m still interested in hearing what you know. My brother is a Flux core welder in Tucson and having a really hard time time finding a job. They hire him knowing he’s entry level and then let him go because he doesn’t have the skill level they want. I think we’d like to have you fix his resume, but also if you know how to go about getting those jobs where experience is required but it’s hard to get the experience without a job.
It looks like you’ve been putting retin-a on your face but not your neck, and now your neck looks older than your face. Something like Morpheus8 could help with that. I just think everybody should be doing IPL and such, since there’s no reason not to (besides cost and some pain).
No offense, it’s just my current obsession, and I’ve been having great results from the IPL.
I have issues around work, social and dating areas of my life. I’ll keep this short. People have suggested I make them feel stupid and suggesting I don’t hear what they say. Then I would use sarcasm to push people away. One woman said I made her feel obligated to go for coffee with me. I’m falling into a circle of resentment and regret of my incompetence in these situations.
What are some best strategies you can advise me on? Let’s keep this to an email Q&A.
I have been reading your blog since I was in high school, and I always try to take your advice.
I have my first job out of college and it’s a very good job for me. My boss is gay. I know I am supposed to make my boss my mentor. And I am supposed to find someone who is moving up in the company to move up right behind. Is it okay to attach myself to my boss or is he going to run up against too many barriers because he’s gay?
Should I be on LinkedIn for home and office organizing?
Also, what do you think about dating in AA? (After having a year sober I’m considering one person.)
Yesterday I needed a few brilliant ideas so I turned to my chat box and saw who among my tech connections are online and it happens that a social media “big shot” was online so I wrote:
“Hi [name]
I was wondering if you could share some crazy ideas. Like what’s the craziest thing you’d do for something you’d really want?”
I fired up the question hoping it was interesting and thought-provoking. I was totally taken aback by her answer:
“What made you think I would share ideas with you?”
I told her I’m sorry if she doesn’t want to answer.
Now I get it, maybe she felt insulted and violated that she’s someone that has mastered her skill. And maybe I have been stupid to ask for her ideas when she’s actually paid to give people ideas. But I must tell you that her response hurts because I really look up to her.
Penelope, I wonder if is that how most “big shots” really respond? Like when a blog reader asks you a question, would you feel insulted that I solicit your opinion or idea for free?
I would really appreciate your comment on this. Perhaps you could shed me and your other blog readers some light as to when is it good to ask questions, or is it even okay to ask professionals like her when she does consulting for a living. I thought it was an innocent question, but what do you think?
I have really great people on my network on Facebook (but not all of them talk to me) and yesterday I needed a few brilliant ideas that I turned to my Chat box and saw who among my Tech connections (people I look up and respect because of their ideas) are online and it happens that this “Social Media Boss” was online so I approached her with,
“Hi [name]
I was wondering if you could share some crazy ideas like what’s the craziest thing you’d do for something you’d really want?”
I fired up the question hoping it was interesting and perhaps she’d be so kind to share some, and I was totally taken aback by her answer:
“What made you think I would share ideas with you?”
I told her I’m sorry if she doesn’t want to and that’s fine with me; and I forgot her services are paid.
Now me and this lady have a lot of mutual friends, she’s a boss in a consulting company, but we never really talked except once I told her that I really liked the video interview of her despite the criticisms on it and she thanked me. Besides that, the second encounter was the unfortunate event yesterday.
Then she went on that “Do you pay by hour?” I told her I couldn’t afford her services and since she’s someone I look up to, perhaps I could get some ideas. Then she told me it was my nice way of saying I like her services but I want it for free.
Now I get it, maybe she felt insulted and violated that she’s someone that has mastered her skill and has become a “big shot”(at least her region and she thinks she is), and I, have been ‘stupid’ to ask for her ideas when she’s actually paid to do it. Then she goes on with:
“Thank your luck you’re one lowly an individual” that I wouldn’t trigger a backlash. Now that I must tell you, hurts.
But then again, I apologized if she felt insulted and violated because after all, we don’t have any strong association. She posted on her Wall that if I really “look up to her”, I wouldn’t ask her on a “cheap Facebook message”.
Penelope, I wonder if is that how most “big shots” really respond? Like when a blog reader asks you a question, would you feel insulted that I solicit your opinion or idea for free?
I would really appreciate your comment on this. Perhaps you could shed me and your other blog readers some light as to when is it “good” to ask questions, or is it even okay to ask “professionals” like her when she does consulting for a living. I thought it was an innocent question, but what do you think?
penelope@penelopetrunk.com