I have autism, help me find a romantic partner!

I have autism and I want a woman to share my time with. However, this has proved exceedingly difficult.

I am now 31 years old and functioning a lot better than I did in my 20s. I often fool myself into thinking that I am really functional and should have no problem getting the things I want, but then I have a panic attack and remember that I am not like other people. That said I have a very good job, quite good looking and am in very good physical shape (I do triathlons).

The only women that have ever shown interest in me for any period of time are women I did not find attractive; women that I did find attractive but the idea that we were compatible was ludicrous; women with mental health problems of some sort also made them impossible to deal with.

Then, I tried using an online dating website where I was matched with another woman who has the same autism condition as me. Yet she has a social life and is less socially anxious than me. You would think we would be compatible and yet I did not get the impression that she found me attractive.

I feel like no normal woman wants a man that has almost no emotion or empathy and cannot join in with their social life. I am discouraged from the online dating experience.

Do you have any useful input for me?

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I get long client emails; how do I respond respectfully and quickly?

I have a fitness coaching business and my client base has doubled since I started. Definitely grateful for the extra cash but I’m finding people are sending me novels about their workouts that are holding me up. I want to refine my efficiency to give them the help they need but I feel bad not responding and don’t want them to think I’m ignoring it.

How should I approach the response without being rude?

And because I’m getting more clients, I’ve become more irritable and burnt out. One client is bouncing between myself and another trainer. When issues pop up where people are being annoying, I’m just saying “yes” instead of arguing my point. How do I get out of this situation?

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How do you keep writing for so many years?

When you got off from your blogging journey as you hit personal roadblocks, how did you get back on track?

I want to know how you keep writing over so many years despite so many life changes.

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What’s the point of getting an autism diagnosis for a homeschooler?

I homeschool my two kids — they’re 6 and 9 — and I am coming to terms with the fact that something is off-kilter with my youngest. I think about you getting a diagnosis as you sought help for your son.

I’ve always found labels uncomfortable, mostly because I haven’t found them to be helpful and I hate having to explain them to other people. Plus, I’m not sure about what specifically can be done to help my daughter, especially since she’s not in school.

So my questions are:

Do you think having an autism diagnosis has helped you and your son? Also, do you think that the specific diagnosis/label is more helpful to understanding each other and to your parenting than knowing your individual Myers-Briggs personality types?

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Why isn’t my podcast getting more traction?

I created this podcast about health and wellness. After putting in 2 years of consistent work, it doesn’t seem to be going anywhere. I started it to help others get through some of the tough stuff I went through. And even though the format includes interviews with folks who have gone through the same thing, some are best selling authors, it still has no real following.

What’s missing?

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You might be right, everyone in our family is autistic. But it’s mild!

Penelope, I wrote to you 2 years ago that I’m not convinced I have autism. I don’t think my wife has autism. She fits with other women really easily and is socially very comfortable. We can put her choice of me down to a moment of weakness.

It wouldn’t be something I would want to avoid knowing. I have some of the signs but by no means all, and the ones I have are synonymous with other conditions, i.e., an anxious attachment style.

Since then, I had a conversation with my sister. Turns out she was diagnosed with Aspergers (when they used to allow it as a formal diagnosis) some years ago. We both agree that our dad had autism.

Thinking about it now my brother is also almost definitely ASD. And I suspect, so is my daughter.

It’s quite a revelation.

I have done more research and digging into myself which is leading me down to a formal diagnosis. It seems you were probably right although my symptoms are certainly on the mild side.

I think I am the least obvious of my family (to me at least) but it has been a fascinating and illuminating journey thus far.

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Stay home with kids: When is it most important?

I’m planning with my husband the next couple of years with kids.

I wanted to know, after everything you learned, if we had to choose, is there a “most important phase” to stay home with kids? The baby phase, the primary school phase, the teenage years..? I’m asking so we can organize ourselves financially.

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Is swinging an interesting topic for a blog?

My husband and I are swingers, but I feel like I can’t even consider writing about it on my blog because it is so far from what is accepted in society.

Should I have an anonymous blog about it?

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How to support mom-preneurs with autism?

I was hired to teach a workshop to a group of mom-preneurs and it was so obvious that at least 5 of the women had some form of autism. When I mentioned this to the head of the organization, she asked me what she could do to make sure she supported these individuals.

Most of the small business owners are women, moms and minority women.

How do I best support these “mom-preneurs” in a workplace or educational environment? And can I make money doing this?

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